I've been below my initial goal weight (160) for some time now. I have hovered up and down. My happiest weight (where I felt best and my size six clothes were only JUST starting to become too loose) was 147. I got down to 142 following a bad bout of tightness with my band and didn't like it probably because of how I got there and the associated weakness from not being able to eat properly.
So anyway, here I am. Back in my size 6 clothing and ranging from 154-156.
I look great in clothes. But it's summertime. Bikinis. And I have become fixated on my problem areas. The typical post-bariatric surgery problem areas. You know. Arms (aka bat wings). Lower tummy (aka apron). Inner thighs (aka WTF?!?!?!).
Most people upon learning that I've had weight loss surgery and lost more than 100lbs ask if I've had surgery to 'fix anything' and are shocked to learn that I haven't. They, apparently, don't see what I see.
I find myself googling pics of the results of these surgeries. And I am quite sure I've decided that for ME, what I have is better than what I'd end up with. Loose skin is better for me than frankenstein scars.
I would LOVE to get my arms fixed, but an elbow to armpit scar just doesn't appeal.
I'd LOVE to get a lower body tuck and tummy tuck, but a scar that goes all the way around my hips just doesn't appeal.
But still, I'm fixated. and unhappy with my body post surgery.
I work in a hospital and bumped into our great local cosmetic surgeon on Friday and told him I'd like to come in for an evaluation.... he knows I have no interest in his surgery, but I know that he, better than anyone, can evaluate my arms, thighs and tummy and let me know realistically whether continued intense working out and eating healthy is likely to improve these areas. Or if it really is just a loose skin situation that would only be resolved with surgery.
Anyone else struggling with these thoughts?
Any of you had surgery? If so - pleased with the results?
How I'm Doing So Far
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Paddleboarding and Garlic Crab
What an amazing day yesterday was. There's a relatively new company here offering paddleboarding (SUP) lessons and rentals. I've wanted to try it for a while, but hadn't had a free Saturday. Mentioned it to a few friends only to find out they were all eager to give it a whirl, so I organised a private lesson for give of us.
What a blast we had. I'm amazed at how quickly we got comfortable on the boards... considering the first 15 minutes out on the water my legs were non-stop shaking.
We ended up being quite adept at it and got to try a bit of their Paddlefit class.... paddle out to a certain point, 10 squats, 10 mountainclimbers, 10 pushups, paddle back into shore.... do that 3x. Wow.... those exercises can be a challenge on dry land, much less on a wobbly floating board.
While out there we saw starfish, a baby eagle ray and a sea turtle. I'm definitely going to be doing that again. Great all over body workout - especially core once you get the technique down.
The photos were taken with a GoPro with no zoom, so we're just specks... but gives you an idea of just how beautiful the scenery was!
Last night a group of friends got together for boiled garlic crabs. We have large land crabs here (well not here in Nassau, but on various family islands) this time of year and it's one of my favorite meals. I love the taste, but as a bandster who still struggles with the concept of being full and having to stop after a few bites of food, I enjoy the experience of eating crabs because it seems like I'm getting to eat a lot more.... i'm not, obviously, but it takes a while to get to the meat and gives the sensation of actually eating a meal. LOL
My Dad is currently participating in LeTape du Tour -- the stage of the Tour de France opened up each year to amateurs. He's one of 13,500+ from more than 50 countries giving it a whirl. the course is insane - up mountain sides (keep in mind we live on a flat rock!) Last email I had from Mom who's keeping put at the finish village he was about 6 hours in. I'm not sure how long it should take him, but man..... that man is inspiring! Not to mention, a tough act to follow!!!!
Today I'm spending a leisurely morning catching up on the latest on that awful plane crash in San Francisco. My heart goes out to all. A bit later I think there's a pool with my name on it, followed by cake and ice cream for a birthday party.
Life is good
What a blast we had. I'm amazed at how quickly we got comfortable on the boards... considering the first 15 minutes out on the water my legs were non-stop shaking.
We ended up being quite adept at it and got to try a bit of their Paddlefit class.... paddle out to a certain point, 10 squats, 10 mountainclimbers, 10 pushups, paddle back into shore.... do that 3x. Wow.... those exercises can be a challenge on dry land, much less on a wobbly floating board.
While out there we saw starfish, a baby eagle ray and a sea turtle. I'm definitely going to be doing that again. Great all over body workout - especially core once you get the technique down.
The photos were taken with a GoPro with no zoom, so we're just specks... but gives you an idea of just how beautiful the scenery was!
Last night a group of friends got together for boiled garlic crabs. We have large land crabs here (well not here in Nassau, but on various family islands) this time of year and it's one of my favorite meals. I love the taste, but as a bandster who still struggles with the concept of being full and having to stop after a few bites of food, I enjoy the experience of eating crabs because it seems like I'm getting to eat a lot more.... i'm not, obviously, but it takes a while to get to the meat and gives the sensation of actually eating a meal. LOL
My Dad is currently participating in LeTape du Tour -- the stage of the Tour de France opened up each year to amateurs. He's one of 13,500+ from more than 50 countries giving it a whirl. the course is insane - up mountain sides (keep in mind we live on a flat rock!) Last email I had from Mom who's keeping put at the finish village he was about 6 hours in. I'm not sure how long it should take him, but man..... that man is inspiring! Not to mention, a tough act to follow!!!!
Today I'm spending a leisurely morning catching up on the latest on that awful plane crash in San Francisco. My heart goes out to all. A bit later I think there's a pool with my name on it, followed by cake and ice cream for a birthday party.
Life is good
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