Sunday, July 21, 2013
So anyway, here I am. Back in my size 6 clothing and ranging from 154-156.
I look great in clothes. But it's summertime. Bikinis. And I have become fixated on my problem areas. The typical post-bariatric surgery problem areas. You know. Arms (aka bat wings). Lower tummy (aka apron). Inner thighs (aka WTF?!?!?!).
Most people upon learning that I've had weight loss surgery and lost more than 100lbs ask if I've had surgery to 'fix anything' and are shocked to learn that I haven't. They, apparently, don't see what I see.
I find myself googling pics of the results of these surgeries. And I am quite sure I've decided that for ME, what I have is better than what I'd end up with. Loose skin is better for me than frankenstein scars.
I would LOVE to get my arms fixed, but an elbow to armpit scar just doesn't appeal.
I'd LOVE to get a lower body tuck and tummy tuck, but a scar that goes all the way around my hips just doesn't appeal.
But still, I'm fixated. and unhappy with my body post surgery.
I work in a hospital and bumped into our great local cosmetic surgeon on Friday and told him I'd like to come in for an evaluation.... he knows I have no interest in his surgery, but I know that he, better than anyone, can evaluate my arms, thighs and tummy and let me know realistically whether continued intense working out and eating healthy is likely to improve these areas. Or if it really is just a loose skin situation that would only be resolved with surgery.
Anyone else struggling with these thoughts?
Any of you had surgery? If so - pleased with the results?
Sunday, July 7, 2013
What a blast we had. I'm amazed at how quickly we got comfortable on the boards... considering the first 15 minutes out on the water my legs were non-stop shaking.
We ended up being quite adept at it and got to try a bit of their Paddlefit class.... paddle out to a certain point, 10 squats, 10 mountainclimbers, 10 pushups, paddle back into shore.... do that 3x. Wow.... those exercises can be a challenge on dry land, much less on a wobbly floating board.
While out there we saw starfish, a baby eagle ray and a sea turtle. I'm definitely going to be doing that again. Great all over body workout - especially core once you get the technique down.
The photos were taken with a GoPro with no zoom, so we're just specks... but gives you an idea of just how beautiful the scenery was!
Last night a group of friends got together for boiled garlic crabs. We have large land crabs here (well not here in Nassau, but on various family islands) this time of year and it's one of my favorite meals. I love the taste, but as a bandster who still struggles with the concept of being full and having to stop after a few bites of food, I enjoy the experience of eating crabs because it seems like I'm getting to eat a lot more.... i'm not, obviously, but it takes a while to get to the meat and gives the sensation of actually eating a meal. LOL
My Dad is currently participating in LeTape du Tour -- the stage of the Tour de France opened up each year to amateurs. He's one of 13,500+ from more than 50 countries giving it a whirl. the course is insane - up mountain sides (keep in mind we live on a flat rock!) Last email I had from Mom who's keeping put at the finish village he was about 6 hours in. I'm not sure how long it should take him, but man..... that man is inspiring! Not to mention, a tough act to follow!!!!
Today I'm spending a leisurely morning catching up on the latest on that awful plane crash in San Francisco. My heart goes out to all. A bit later I think there's a pool with my name on it, followed by cake and ice cream for a birthday party.
Life is good
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Two and a half years post op and I still haven't learned to ALWAYS RESPECT that soft signal that I'm full. Yesterday and again today I had great food days. Ate within my limits, made pretty good choices (only a half a sliver of the cakes at the BBQ) and had no pain or discomfort at all.
Until I decided to take one more teensy, tiny fork of the Italian pasta salad leftovers that I ate for dinner.
One more.... not because I was hungry. But because it tasted good. And it was there.
That one teensy tiny fork of Italian pasta salad got stuck. And after 2+ hours of pain and discomfort, it came back up. Along with much of what had been a perfectly adequate amount for dinner.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
She makes eating on such a small scale seem like so much fun!
So as I'm on this journey of rediscovering what it is that will make my metabolism wake up, and learning to eat more but keep it healthy and nutritious, I decided to invest in my own colourful Bento Box from the same company she got hers. It also inspires me to do what my nutritionist asked me to do and bring lunch into work at least 3x a week.
|This was yesterday's 'buffet'. I ate the trailmix that was in the tiny green container for breakfast and then had just the egg salad (most of it) and the rye whole grain crackers for lunch. Cheese stick and fruit went back home.|
I meet with my nutritionist tomorrow morning for the first time in two weeks. Two weeks that have included two trips and not a whole lot of exercise, but clothes are fitting nicely -- still have a few pounds to go before I can claim all the pants in my closet again. My size 8 slacks almost fell down yesterday.
Hope you're all having good food choice days :)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
We arrived in Current, Eleuthera and drove down to Gregory Town where the Pineapplethon triathlon was going to be the following morning.
The house we had rented was just a bit further south. Great house except for the fact that the walls in the two pods housing three bedrooms and a bathroom each don't go up to the ceiling -- they're open.... so no privacy and a bit dodgy when it comes to bathroom time....
I felt the views from SeaCliff were well worth it though. Amazing to sit there and look out over the ocean.
We had a relatively early night Friday because it was up early and back to Gregory Town Saturday for the triathlon.
My swim was awesome. Beat one of our guy friends (who's a swimmer, btw) out of the water and was actually the first female out of the water. Felt great to see how my swim training paid off big time.
Apparently I need to start putting more time in on the bike and run as it went downhill from there. My band was tight that morning so no food went in.. I felt like I was biking and walking on fumes.
My friend Ann, who'd run in a relay, came back on the course to run me back home. That was pretty awesome of her.
The day went downhill from there. Once I'd finished, my father pulled me aside to let me know that the call he'd received the night before was to tell him that a dear friend of ours had died suddenly the Friday evening.
I'm still in shock about it. Shlomi was one of the really good guys. We've known him since he and his wife (who is the daughter of some of my parents' best friends) started dating him in college. He left behind 3 young kids. The youngest was born the day he handed me the keys to my house -- he was my contractor as well. She turned 2 in March so will have no personal memories of her awesome dad. Shlomi would have turned 40 this coming Friday. He collapsed and died while playing soccer with some buddies of his. They did this every Friday. I haven't heard yet whether a cause of death has been established.
I also can't believe my dad held that in so long. He waited until I'd finished my race before breaking the news. One of the women in our group who just met him this weekend said to me 'if I hadn't already fallen in love with your dad, I would have for that alone.'
Not sure yet when there will be a memorial service in Nassau. I understand his wife, kids, his brothers (flying in from the US) and his wife's family were all going to take him to Israel to be buried next to his father per his wishes.
Crying again as I write this. RIP Shlomi Zlicha. You are missed.
ok... can't end on the sad note. The weekend, although melancholy, was a good time. I was lucky to be surrounded by great friends.
On Sunday we checked out of our rental house and drove up north to get a ferry over to Harbour Island for the day. We puttered around on our golf carts, had a lovely lunch and then chilled out on the stunning, world famous, Pink Sand Beach. Bliss.
The slow boat to Nassau got us home around 10, so it was late by the time we got home.
Monday morning, I frantically sorted out my stuff and packed another suitcase, this time for a trip to S. Florida with my 15 yo niece to do some shopping for her for camp. It's been a great couple days. Lots of quality bonding time :)
Tomorrow morning we head home and although I am technically still on vacation, barring a flight delay, I'll go to the company's Annual General Meeting at 6pm.... the fun just never ends.
Ok... off to do my life coaching class homework for Friday morning's class!
Photos from the weekend below
|Me and my lil buddy Kami. I didn't even think twice about posing for a photo in a bikini. It didn't even occur to me to use her as a shield until after the pic had been snapped!|
|Start of the triathlon. A small, but fun field of competitors. We swam out to the white buoy, across to one out of the photo, and back in.|
|Kami and I checking out the sights from down below our house's cliff|
|the amazing deck at our rental house. Incredible views.|
|as if i needed a sign to tell me!|
|bikes at the start of the triathlon. mine is the second from the left end...|
|looking down the steps of the cliff face|
|and looking up. climbing down AFTER the triathlon wasn't my smartest move of the weekend...|
|Late afternoon at Rainbow Bay Beach|
|don't ask.... but from this angle my stomach was wonderfully flat!|
|ugh..... blogger has squished me here!|
|I never did make it into the water on Pink Sand Beach on Harbour Island. I was exhausted and found myself a nice lounge chair under a thatch hut and napped.|
|I was super impressed to see the healthy options Jet Blue serves onboard.|
|That's me. not taking up too much room in my airplane seat. Look at all that seatbelt left over! To think pre-lapband I was a mouthful away from having to ask for the dreaded seatbelt extension thingamajiggy!!!!!!! NSV for sure!!!|
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Tomorrow morning a group of friends and I will board a ferry bound for Current, eleuthera. We're going for the Bahamian labour day holiday weekend to participate in the Pineappleman sprint triathlon and partake in the associated festivities of pineapple fest in Gregory town.
Just finished packing... trying to keep it light as possible since there's a crowd of us cramming into just a couple vehicles. Triathlon gear, beach towel, bikini, hat, couple cute sundresses, PJ's, and lots sunblock n mosquito repellent!
Bound to be a great time!
Will take and post some pix as I can
Monday, June 3, 2013
What did I do, you ask? I started EATING. The body (mine in particular, it seems) are amazing. It's not about calories in, calories burned. I'm still likely at a deficit, but our goal is to feed my body up to 5 times a day to wake up my metabolism. Anyone with a band knows how tough this can be. But it's mini mini meals. A single mini frittata can be one meal.
My goals for this coming week:
Eat breakfast every day.
Up my water intake - again, a challenge juggling that in with the increased eating frequency, but it can be done.
And..... shoot.... can't remember the other thing. Will email him tomorrow.
Fascinating revelation... when we were discussing meal options for breakfast, we were talking about peanut butter and apple slices. And he asked if I know Nutella. DO I KNOW NUTELLA?!?!?! turns out the commercials with the Mom serving it up on toast to her kids for breakfast isn't a crock of poop after all. Yes, it is higher in sugar and lower in protein, but otherwise, the two match up pretty much identically on the nutrition label. Who'da thunk it.
So My life is about to get even more crazy. Tomorrow I start my first course towards getting certified as a Life/Health Coach! This is tied into my job.... and I'm so excited about it. We are launching a Weight Management Solutions program to help patients with weight - whether they are morbidly obese and opt for surgical intervention, or just can't get those 20-30lbs off. As part of our comprehensive program of medical professionals, we will have a health coach assigned to each patient/client. And I've been selected to be the health coach coordinator and work with patients too. Lots of work ahead, but feels like a PERFECT fit for me.
Thanks to my lovelies Angela, Dawnya and Karin for your kind comments and welcoming me back here. I think Facebook and the fact that I'm linked to you all there is part of the reason I fell off the blogging wagon, but the fact is that we don't share these kinds of things in FB land. It feels good to be back.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Lots of things going on that make this a good place for me to turn.
I'm almost 3 years to the date I started this journey and September will be 3 years with the band. Good days. Awful days. In general the best thing I ever did for myself.
That said, it's a constant struggle with my weight. And I think that's the main reason I feel compelled to come back here. The trend is that most bloggers disappear once they've had the surgery and settle into post band life. But I want to share my experience to show that a) it's NOT a magic bullet. b) success CAN happen c) the band is NOT EVIL if you do what you're supposed to do (with some exceptions).
I started at 262.2lbs and busting out of a size 20. Lowest I got to was 142 and size 6 was baggy. I didn't like it there in part because I got there during a period my band was giving me challenges and I wasn't eating or drinking enough.
147-149 seems to be my happiest point. Around Easter this year, I was 178 and climbing. The band had been wide open since November and I'd been holding steady around 158.... and then all of a sudden, hunger was insatiable and constant and my portion capacity was much higher.
So on came the weight.
My surgeon (GOD BLESS HIM) and I agreed to ease up to a sweet spot since my band tends to be temperamental and I have managed to get down to 162 so far.
But it's been frustrating. Good restriction. Intense exercise. Scale not moving. Argh! I have the world's WORST metabolism.
So, I am now working with a nutritionist. The party's over. By that, I mean, I KNOW that I've not been the poster child for good food choices. I've battled weight all my life and spent most of my adult life depriving myself or indulging and experiencing guilt and weight gain consequences.
So with the band, I had a year or so of just living free. If i wanted it, I had a bit and it was for the first time in my life OK TO DO THAT.
But as I said. Party's over. That free for all is no longer getting me where I want to be - which is 147-149, lean, healthy.
After last Wednesday's session with my nutritionist, we agreed that in order for me to do the things he wants me to do in order to jump start my metabolism (assuming i have one?!?!) I needed to open the band up a wee bit in order to increase the frequency with which I can eat.
My surgeon (GOD BLESS HIM) gave me the slight unfill and I've been good to go. Good restriction, but not so much that I can't eat or am sliming.
I told my nutritionist that my true goal is to live with an open band. Like my friend Fluffy does. And to be more accountable and disciplined with my food choices like my friend Karin does.
SO I've been doing my dreaded food journalling. I know I'm getting too many sweets and sugars in still, but I'm working on it.
My instructions for week one. Have something for breakfast - even if it's a cup of coffee. Switch from refined sugar to brown sugar. Make lunch and take it into work at least 2x a week. Add some resistance training/weight bearing exercise to my cardio intense program.
So far, I've done the first two. I'm currently making mini frittatas with egg, a bit of cheese, black beans, mushrooms, green onion and organic bruschetta to accomplish the third. And as for the fourth, I've discussed it with my workout buddy and after this coming week, we'll do that at least one morning. - only holding off because we have a triathlon in Eleuthera next weekend so don't want to do something that could cause pain until that's over!