How I'm Doing So Far

Monday, October 10, 2011

Deep Thoughts

I still have more Chicago photos and memories to post, but as I said, I'm dragging them out so that every so often you all get a pleasant surprise and a chance to reminisce.

I do have a more serious topic I promised myself I'd blog about following Chicago.

****disclaimer -- this is NOT intended as a judgment of ANYONE. Just my personal thoughts on a topic that interested me.


If you've read my blog from the start, you know that before my surgery, I told very few people about my decision to have surgical intervention. I had done my research. I was satisfied that this was the right choice for me. I didn't want to deal with negative comments from people who didn't really know what they were talking about at that point.

The night of my surgery, I outed myself on Facebook.

I've not once had a negative comment from a friend, family member or a stranger about my decision. I am on a local lapband commercial and in advertisements and strangers stop me to congratulate me and ask questions, but never to judge me.

I guess that's why I was fascinated to learn that so many of the wonderful women I spent time with this weekend are in the closet about their decision to get a lapband.

I realise that there are a million different reasons for telling or not telling. I was just surprised to realise that it seemed I was in the minority.

I am so free about my life and my experience that I guess it would seem to me like a helluva heavy burden to carry around such a big secret.

Also, I get SUCH a high out of talking to morbidly obese women about the surgery and my life with the lapband. Every time I do, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I've helped to make a little difference in their lives.

It really hit home on the weekend when I got a message on FB from a primary school classmate. He is now considering getting lapband and reached out to me for my thoughts and answers to those burning questions. I gave him my blog url and am hoping he's reading mine and finding many others.

I guess if anyone's in the closet because they're afraid of what other people will think or say, I think you might just be surprised. People have told me they're proud. They think I'm brave. They now consider me a role model. But not once have they said something cruel.

17 comments:

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

I love that no one has said anything negative to you...it's so interesting - the choice to tell or not to tell. Take care.

Jessica said...

I am completely open about it too... Everyone at work knows, everyone in my family knows.

I also have not received any negative feedback either.

Kristin50 said...

I also am open about it as well. I too have helped others to come to the band! I know there are many reasons why some stay hidden.

I am so glad you don't you are truly amazing in how you have done on this journey and I am so thankful you share all that you have learned with us!

Maria said...

I was quiet about it at first, and in fact did receive some negative reactions (from a family member no less). Now I'm much more open about it, and I too enjoy sharing my story.

Cat said...

I am one of the ones still in secret about my band. There are many times when I wish I could just talk about it, but then I don't want people to think now that I lied to them. I still have only told 8 people in my life. Interesting topic.

Lap Band Gal said...

Amen Sista! :)

Banded Mommy (Angie) said...

I think once I have lost more I will feel more comfortable telling everyone. There are a few, ok well a lot of people that I am embarrassed to tell. For one my brother. He only knows because my husband accidentally told him. He is very judgmental and has never battled with this like I have.
You are a great role model for those of us that are still pretty new at this and really should be proud to tell everyone about your journey.

Becky said...

I LOVE this post! Thank you for putting it out there. I haven't hidden my surgery, and most my friends know about it, but I haven't mentioned it on Facebook. There are plenty of people who still don't know, but I am more fearless about it after reading this post. Who cares? And I KNOW I can help people.

Thanks again!

Dawnya said...

Jessica...I love that you are helping others by being open about your surgery and your experience.

I am still in the closet. I don't talk about my band on FB...I only talk about it on the blogs. Only 2 members of my extended family know and that is because we are more like sisters.

I will be honest and say...the reason I'm in the closet about my band is that I am afraid. I'm afraid to tell people I've had weight loss surgery...only to still be obese a year later. It makes me feel ashamed.

Wow...that is a big confession coming from one of the most self confident girls in the world. LOL...but that is the truth. I let a doctor operate on me to help me lose weight and I'm still nowhere near goal. It makes me hang my head.

Nora said...

It is great that you are open and that it has worked out for you. I have chosen not to broadcast my decision for a number of reasons, but prime among them is that my surgery isn't anyone's business. I put it up there with being out to dinner with a girlfriend (or even an acquaintance) who feels the need to tell me that she and her husband are 'trying' to get pregnant. I think that is a personal thing and doesn't have to be shared with everyone. Same goes with my decision to have WLS. It is private. In all honesty, I don't care about what people say to me, but I don't want to risk what people will say behind my back... the comments and judgments they wouldn't express to me. It hasn't been a burden though. I have never had to lie to anyone, I don't get stuck when out with friends and I don't exhibit any signs that would make it obvious that I have had WLS.

Amanda said...

although I am quiet to a lot of people about my band, I have found that as time has gone on I to tell more and more people! Who am I in competition with and what do I care if they don't like my methods? It isn't like a am doing drugs to lose the weight and I am healthier! But I am still a bit cautious!

Lady, update your 'About Me' picture! You look some much damn younger then that picture. It is a good pic, yes. But you truly do look different! And much prettier in my opinion!

Justawallflower said...

My experience is similar to yours. I did not tell anyone leading up to the surgery for the same reasons. I made my decision and did not need anyone trying to change my mind. I have, however, been very open about it since. I do not post on fb, as many of my friends are from hs and do not know how much I have gained, but I am open about my getting healthy lifestyle, and would never not tell anyone if they asked what I was doing. I am open for the same reasons as you. First, I am a very open person, so it would be astruggle for me to keep quiet. In fact, I said when I started my new job that I was going to keep it to myself, that lasted less than a week! Second, if I can help just one person by telling them my story, then it is well worth it to me! Thanks for sharing!

Beth Ann said...

I'm such an open book that there is no way I could have kept it a secret. I have had a bad reaction or two, but nothing I can't handle and I feel so much more free about it!

Stephanie said...

It's funny because I feel the same way as you. I have been very open with mine among my coworkers and family and never had anything negative said. I never hid it on facebook, but now I have no issues with talking about it. being open about my band really was a factor in me getting to know Brandi, as once she found out I had my band we talked and talked about it and she went to my doctor for her surgery. i feel like I was able to help her a bit, even though she already had researched it.

Sandy Lee said...

The important people in my life know about the band. But the casuals (some of whom are on FB) don't know and really have no business knowing. They wouldn't be supportive and that's was what I was looking for when I told people. The other side of things is that losing 40 pounds doesn't sound like much to some people so I know I would get some nasty comments (like from my one sister who is the only family member still in the dark). I guess I like the anonymity of blogging some crazy stuff which I would never want seen by people on FB or who aren't terribly close to me. My one regret is mentioning to my manager from last year. It wasn't necessary and now that we don't work together I am not sure if she would open her mouth and tell the rest of the organization. Too late now. But keep up the talk. You never know when you have motivated someone and possibly save their life by being in the open.

Andrea said...

Thanks for posting this! You mostly hear about peoples negative experiences with telling others about the band. Thanks for the perspective of how being open about it can help others. I'm kind of in the middle. I don't hide it if other people ask, but I don't broadcast it on facebook either.

Bonnie said...

It must be a great feeling to be a role model. Good for you.