Sponsor my Ride for Hope!

I've been bad. No. I've been worse than that. Not a single blog entry since early November. And I honestly haven't been good about keeping up with reading others's blogs. But I can explain. What had happened was..... forget it... the technological excuse that I was using has now been resolved and I'm gonna do better. I promise.

Far too much business been going on for me to even attempt to catch up.

In a nutshell, band was emptied completely then re-filled early December because, as I pointed out to my surgeon (if i were the poster child for discipline and self-restraint I wouldn't have needed a band in the first place). Was doing well and then BAM! for the past 2 weeks Betsy's been tight and irritated. I've backed off food and am trying soup only to hopefully get things to settle down without needing an unfill.

I'm right now at about 148 and feel good here. Wear small and extra small tops and mostly size 6 with some size 4 pants. Can see myself going a bit smaller if I can get back into hardcore exercise but it's not a goal nor is it necessary.

I FINALLY had an MRI on my hip and pelvis after months of rest and physio-therapy failed to improve things. Saw my doc this morning and the good news is: I don't have cancer, nerve damage or arthritis. The bad news is my MRI came back NORMAL! So he was going to come down to the hospital this afternoon and look over it with the radiologist to see if they can find anything by taking various closer looks, but the long and short of it is I still have no resolution.

Work is going well. Keeping me busy, but I'm loving working in a healthcare environment.

sylvia my fur baby is doing well in case you were wondering.

It doesn't look like I'm going to make it to BooBs this year :( -- Earlier in September some girlfriends and I are going to Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia as our epic 40th bday trip and I'll be away for almost 3 weeks. I can't really swing another long weekend away (and getting to and from Chicago from here takes about a day of traveling each way because of stupid flight times). Also, just found out that the Triathlon I competed in on a relay last year is the 30th September and i'd promised myself that so long as I can get this hip thing sorted I'll do the whole thing. Worst case I'll swim or bike or both and just get me a runner!

Speaking of biking.... I've registered for the Ride for Hope in April. It's an awesome event that takes place on the island of Eleuthera. The course is 100 miles, but riders can do anywhere from 10 up... they have turnaround points throughout the course. My friend and I are aiming for 51-75, but if training between now and then is consistent and goes well, I might try for a Century. I'm including the link to my Ride for Hope page here so you can check out the event details -- money raised goes towards some very worthwhile cancer-related charities here in The Bahamas. You can also follow along on my training and other random updates. And if you can and feel so inclined, you can sponsor my ride. Everyone who signs up promises to raise at least $250 and I'd LOVE to raise much more. The very lovely (as demonstrated in her recent gorgeous photo shoot) Beth Ann over at Beth Ann's Never-ending Quest for SOMETHING was the first to sponsor me. THANKS LADY!

My Ride for Hope Page

Cheerios my lovelies

hmmmmmmmm......

So I had the unfill last night taking me down to 3cc in my 10cc band.

Here's what's odd.

I have not had insatiable hunger pangs as I've had in the past with the unfills.

My capacity has not increased significantly as it has in the past with the unfills.

Eating does not hurt as it has for the past few weeks or so which is WONDERFUL!

This evening I was down to 140.2 on the scale.

That's 142lbs lost overnight. Ha Ha... can't believe I wrote that I weighed 242lbs yesterday. Old habits die hard.

Was at the physiotherapist again today and I had noticed that for the first time in a while my 'hip' wasn't hurting today. She could feel a significant difference in the muscles while doing the myofacial release and she did some strength testing and i was able to push back in ways I hadn't been able to do when I first saw her.

PROGRESS! She says if i'm like that on Monday then she'll proceed to strengthening exercises. YAY YAY YAY! Am cautiously optimistic that I'm on the road to recovery.

And, she suggested that I consider adding some yoga to my overall exercise mix. She says I don't have awful posture, but definitely improper posture which I shouldn't have considering I am strong. She said it has to to with not being aware of my body because of the rapid weight loss... that my brain hasn't caught up with my new body. There's some technical term she used to describe it and for the life of me I can't remember so I will make a note to get her to write it down when I go on Monday. I want to do some research on it and share it with you too!

And then there were THREE

THREE cc's left in my 10cc band, that is.

Even though Betsy has definitely eased up on me this week, I pb'd on my campbells potato soup yesterday and decided I needed to go ahead with the unfill.

Dr D and I chatted about it and we're both concerned that with the teensy tiny amounts I'm able to eat that I won't be able to halt the weight loss and at 242lbs this morning and my size 6 suit pants looking like clown pants, I've cried enough.

Who EVER would have imagined that *I* would be asking for help to STOP losing weight?!?!?! lololol gotta love it.

Anyway, I had 5cc in - he'd already reduced it a wee bit since the last complete unfill a month or two ago and decided to try me at 3cc. He said he'll see me in a month to see how Betsy and I are managing.

This evening I know I should be on just liquids but I had a slice of deli ham and it was indeed a pleasure NOT TO FEEL STUCK. Also had a small ice cream cone for medicinal purposes.

Will let you know how things go throughout the weekend. My biggest concern will be managing the hunger pangs. SOOOOOOO.... hard when it's been so long since you've truly experienced them. But I can do it. I know I can.

Oh.... got home this evening and my new bike was waiting for me at the security booth. I walked back there and rode her home. I'm in love! I've called her Pearl since her official colour is 'pearly white'.

Will set her up tomorrow night in the stationary stand unless I can manage to get home early enough to go for a spin.

Betsy has ears

I've never read it in any official medical literature, but I am CONVINCED that lapbands - or maybe just Betsy - have ears.
For TWO weeks I've struggled to eat just about anything and most of what did go down ended up coming back up. MISERABLE.
So yesterday morning I called and made an appointment for a slight unfill with Dr D.
For lunch today I had some fish and potato salad. Not a huge amount, but for the first time in a long time I didn't just feel stuck.
This evening I had a whole mini babybel cheese round and it all went down and stayed down.
How does Betsy always loosen up or tighten up when I make that call??? I bumped into Dr D outside the hospital this evening and had a quick chat with him about it and he said I should just wait and see what happens and if I'm still getting food down, no need for the unfill.
I've said it before and i'll say it again - Betsy is a fickle little bitch!

On another note, I went for a bike ride this morning with a friend on a loaner bike. She was on a racer. I was not. I worked 10x as hard as she did and still felt I was forcing her to slow down. I've decided I like biking and living in the area I do now it's a great option.

So today i went to the local bike store and invested in one. Not cheap, but an investment in me and my health. I also bought this fantastic stationary trainer thing that essentially allows me to turn my bike into a stationary one... I figure with the hours I'm working and time about to change, available daylight hours are going to be hard to come by so this nifty contraption eliminates that excuse!

Apparently you CAN be too thin.....

Sorry I've been absent. Was in Schaumburg Illinois all last week and busy, busy, busy with the conference.

So anyway. Today I was back in therapy for my torn ab wall muscle (or so we think). And the therapist stops in the middle of her deeep myofacial massage in my belly area and says 'what is that'? I'm like.... uh..... i dunno......
turns out not everyone has a super strong pulse in their abdomen (who knew?) and coupled with the mystery pain that could be displaced groin pain..... she needed to alert my doctor because that pulse could have been an abdominal aortic aneurysm..... WTF?!?!?!

She calls the doc who says I should get an abdominal ultrasound.... they got me in today a) because I work at the hospital and b) the coordinator said whenever they hear the words aneurysm, deep vein thrombosis and the like, they make a point to get you in...... aye aye aye....

the ultrasound tech and the attending doctor were extremely thorough and could feel the pulse through the ultrasound instrument..... turns out my aorta is perfectly fine and although it's pulsing super strong, there's no dilation and so nothing to worry about. just need to watch it in case it gets stronger. they checked ALL my organs and said I'm ideal to scan because everything shows up so nicely because I have so little fat.

the doctor... a new one from the philippines who is tiny herself admitted that she too has  a strong abdominal pulse and that mine is showing so strong because I'm so thin and only have a thin layer of fat and tissue covering the aorta.

Who woulda thunk it?!?!?! So MUCH relief that there's not a huge medical problem and glad the physiotherapist reacted the way she did because I'd rather have that then the alternative.

And now that I've given you my Halloween scare, I leave you with a few pics from Saturday night's Halloween dress up. I was Hoochie the Clown. - so much fun shopping for a costume when you're this size!!!!!

I had to add black leggings.... there was NO way I was traipsing around
with my derriere hanging out of the leotard and tutu!

Just noticing my breast bone is now as prominent as my collar bones....
need to get a bit of an unfill so I can stop this weight loss.... who
ever would have thought *I* would be saying that!!?!?!

I have Abs. I have proof.

Not sure if I've blogged about this, but some of you know I was suffering from a weird hip pain even when we were in Chicago. It's been about 2 months since it first came on. A month ago I broke down and went to an osteo and he said it looked like trochanteric bursitis. He prescribed rest and Arcoxia (more on that in a bit).
I rested. And I rested. Then after 2 weeks I went back to boot camp and ended up being in excruciating pain for a day and a half. Since then, the pain seems to be progressing to the point where even just daily walking about hurts.

So I decided to go ahead and get the cortisone shot which is the next step in treatment if rest and meds don't work.

Well that doc is off island until October 31st so I managed to weasel my way into another, figuring I'd sweet talk him into giving me the shot and I'd be on my merry way.

He didn't think it was the bursitis.... the spot I'm now definitely feeling the pain in is too high up. He thought it might be the muscles around the hip flexor being too tight and sent me to a physiotherapist for an evaluation and pilates style stretching.

I met with her today and after a lot of pushing, poking, pulling and prodding, determined that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my hips. amazing flexibility and range of motion and the ball is gliding effortlessly in the socket.

Her diagnosis - a torn abdominal wall muscle of all things!!!!!!!!

But makes sense when I told her I feel pain when I sneeze and when I do push ups or burpees.

She says we've been doing all the right treatments, just in the wrong place!!!!

So the orders are more rest (no running, no pushups, nothing, basically, that engages my lower abdominals). Ice 1 or 2x a day and ultrasound while in an extreme ab stretch position involving a stability ball.

I cracked up when she said it was abs, because I always swear at bootcamp that 'i ain't gat no abs'. well, she said, 'clearly you do, because you've torn one!

She seems to think I'll be ok to run the half marathon in February, it will just be a matter of whether or not I can actually train for it.... because as we all know, I am NOT a RUNNER!!!

On the matter of arcoxia.... it's a pain killer and anti-inflammatory. She asked how that was going down.... I said it's been iffy because my stomach has been very irritated of late..... she seems to think the arcoxia could be the culprit because she says it tends to be very abrasive on the stomach..... She gave me some excellent advice that I pass on to all of you..... she said whenever another doctor prescribes anything, I should consult with my lapband surgeon before even getting the prescription filled because he may want to change it or prescribe something I can take along with it to ease the irritation..... she said other docs prescribe assuming a normal physiology, but I no longer have that. Mine has been compromised.

Word to the wise.

Deep Thoughts

I still have more Chicago photos and memories to post, but as I said, I'm dragging them out so that every so often you all get a pleasant surprise and a chance to reminisce.

I do have a more serious topic I promised myself I'd blog about following Chicago.

****disclaimer -- this is NOT intended as a judgment of ANYONE. Just my personal thoughts on a topic that interested me.


If you've read my blog from the start, you know that before my surgery, I told very few people about my decision to have surgical intervention. I had done my research. I was satisfied that this was the right choice for me. I didn't want to deal with negative comments from people who didn't really know what they were talking about at that point.

The night of my surgery, I outed myself on Facebook.

I've not once had a negative comment from a friend, family member or a stranger about my decision. I am on a local lapband commercial and in advertisements and strangers stop me to congratulate me and ask questions, but never to judge me.

I guess that's why I was fascinated to learn that so many of the wonderful women I spent time with this weekend are in the closet about their decision to get a lapband.

I realise that there are a million different reasons for telling or not telling. I was just surprised to realise that it seemed I was in the minority.

I am so free about my life and my experience that I guess it would seem to me like a helluva heavy burden to carry around such a big secret.

Also, I get SUCH a high out of talking to morbidly obese women about the surgery and my life with the lapband. Every time I do, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I've helped to make a little difference in their lives.

It really hit home on the weekend when I got a message on FB from a primary school classmate. He is now considering getting lapband and reached out to me for my thoughts and answers to those burning questions. I gave him my blog url and am hoping he's reading mine and finding many others.

I guess if anyone's in the closet because they're afraid of what other people will think or say, I think you might just be surprised. People have told me they're proud. They think I'm brave. They now consider me a role model. But not once have they said something cruel.