Thursday, May 19, 2011
the pic i promised.... and body image
It's not a great shot and of course although I had my camera with me at the party it never occurred to me to take it out and get a nicer picture taken!!!!
That's a medium top and size 6 pants. Still in shock over that.
Now here's the tough part... something I know so many of you grapple with. When Will my mind catch up with my body?
I'm intelligent to know that having lost 105.8lbs and going from a 20 to a 6 that I'm ALOT smaller than I used to be. But I roll my eyes when people call me slim or skinny. BECAUSE I DON'T SEE IT.
I was chatting with a good friend the other day about this whole journey. she's one of the few who knew well in advance of surgery that I was doing this and has been 150% supportive. I was commenting on the fact that post last un-fill I'm finally back on track with my eating and the scale is moving (albeit slowly) in the right direction.
She was surprised when I told her I weighed 157.... she thinks I look more like 130-something. I told her I wanted to get to 140-something and so have about 7lbs to go..... but said that at least I don't look 'skinny'..... she thinks I do.....
When will I see myself the way others do? I look at the photo above and yes, I love how I look, but I don't see skinny. I see healthy. I'm not mortified anymore because I'm not obese but I don't go 'wow!'
How do i get to that point? will I ever?