How I'm Doing So Far

Thursday, May 19, 2011

the pic i promised.... and body image

It's not a great shot and of course although I had my camera with me at the party it never occurred to me to take it out and get a nicer picture taken!!!!

That's a medium top and size 6 pants. Still in shock over that.

Now here's the tough part... something I know so many of you grapple with. When Will my mind catch up with my body?

I'm intelligent to know that having lost 105.8lbs and going from a 20 to a 6 that I'm ALOT smaller than I used to be. But I roll my eyes when people call me slim or skinny. BECAUSE I DON'T SEE IT.

I was chatting with a good friend the other day about this whole journey. she's one of the few who knew well in advance of surgery that I was doing this and has been 150% supportive. I was commenting on the fact that post last un-fill I'm finally back on track with my eating and the scale is moving (albeit slowly) in the right direction.

She was surprised when I told her I weighed 157.... she thinks I look more like 130-something. I told her I wanted to get to 140-something and so have about 7lbs to go..... but said that at least I don't look 'skinny'..... she thinks I do.....

When will I see myself the way others do? I look at the photo above and yes, I love how I look, but I don't see skinny. I see healthy. I'm not mortified anymore because I'm not obese but I don't go 'wow!'

How do i get to that point? will I ever?


Heather said...

I am right here with you on the body image. You are looking good though. That shirt is actually too big!

Lap Band Gal said...

it's taking forever for my mind to catch up...I'm still waiting. You have lost your weight really fast like I did and supposedly that is causing us an extra hurdle to jump over...I think our gastric bypass friends could give a lot of support on this as well since they lose fast too.

You look awesome by the way! :)

Dawnya said...

You look amazing. I think it will take time for your mind to recognize the new you. For years you were that "other" person on the outside. Now your mind is like who is this new chick. It will happen.

You look absolutely amazing.

-Grace- said...

You are TINY! Looks good on you :)

Cat's Chic Chat said...

You look phenominal. And yes, healthy. I love those size 6 you're rockin girl!!

Amanda Kiska said...

You look great. I would absolutely consider you SKINNY! I agree that shirt is too big.

Justawallflower said...

I LOVE that outfit, and you look super great! I have never wanted to look skinny, I just don't have it in me. I want to feel like I look healthy, and maybe athletic, but definitely not skinny. I am hoping that since this is my goal I will not struggle with seeing that when I get to it, but I know that it really is going to be an issue with me as well, as in high school I was "athletic" and always thought I was obese. I hope that you get to where you love yourself where you are, even if it's not "skinny" in your eyes! You are gorgeous!