self-imposed starvation

It's been a while. I guess life just got in the way.

So about this title. One thing I've found since my slight unfill a few weeks ago is that the hungry switch got turned back on and I'm constantly thinking about food and the next meal. Being tight is so lovely in that it takes all that away, but of course, leads me into other problems.

I've been indulging this hunger. A lot. And not necessarily with the best things. And as a result my bowels are all messed up and i've put on a few pounds. Nothing to be alarmed about, but I know why and I know I need to arrest this development.

So this morning I decided that I needed to remind myself what true hunger really feels like. Not the little 'oh it's about that time of day when i should eat and so i'll eat' hunger. But the tummy rumbling, gurgling feed me feed me feed me hunger.

I had to get up at 4:40 this morning and head into work for 5:30 am. I was the first kind of hunger really early on, but I know that food is not my friend first thing so I had a coffee... and that got the bowels going into overdrive.... thank goodness. i was really bloated.

so anyway, morning work kept on and i decided not to feed the hunger and before you know it' it was noon and i was ravenous... that second kind of hunger.

I really needed to remember what that felt like as it's been such a long time.

Of course once I filed that feeling away, I headed out for some sushi..... and was so hungry (and have lost my knife) that I started scarfing it down. Three pieces down and i'm feeling a little bit stuck. Hoping it works its way down because I DON'T wanna have that come back up. ewwwwwwwwwwww.