How I'm Doing So Far

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

self-imposed starvation

It's been a while. I guess life just got in the way.

So about this title. One thing I've found since my slight unfill a few weeks ago is that the hungry switch got turned back on and I'm constantly thinking about food and the next meal. Being tight is so lovely in that it takes all that away, but of course, leads me into other problems.

I've been indulging this hunger. A lot. And not necessarily with the best things. And as a result my bowels are all messed up and i've put on a few pounds. Nothing to be alarmed about, but I know why and I know I need to arrest this development.

So this morning I decided that I needed to remind myself what true hunger really feels like. Not the little 'oh it's about that time of day when i should eat and so i'll eat' hunger. But the tummy rumbling, gurgling feed me feed me feed me hunger.

I had to get up at 4:40 this morning and head into work for 5:30 am. I was the first kind of hunger really early on, but I know that food is not my friend first thing so I had a coffee... and that got the bowels going into overdrive.... thank goodness. i was really bloated.

so anyway, morning work kept on and i decided not to feed the hunger and before you know it' it was noon and i was ravenous... that second kind of hunger.

I really needed to remember what that felt like as it's been such a long time.

Of course once I filed that feeling away, I headed out for some sushi..... and was so hungry (and have lost my knife) that I started scarfing it down. Three pieces down and i'm feeling a little bit stuck. Hoping it works its way down because I DON'T wanna have that come back up. ewwwwwwwwwwww.

2 comments:

Cat's Chic Chat said...

There you are! I've missed you! Where in the Bahamas are you anyway? My hubby and I are coming to Nassau on a cruise in September. I'd love to get together if you're up to meeting strange people from mainland USA : )

As for your hunger, I totally get that. I'm holding on by my finger nails to my first fill on Friday.

Silverhairedgoddess said...

Yes, they got rid of both the old scales (I use to weigh on both) but the one you weighed on is also gone, gone, gone.

This new one weighs up to 660 pounds! so that they can keep track of everyone now.

I kinda had a feeling that the ones at Dr. D's office weighed me a little lighter than I really was ... but I just liked seeing the lower number - oh well, now I have had a reality check :)