Loose skin or scars?

I've been below my initial goal weight (160) for some time now. I have hovered up and down. My happiest weight (where I felt best and my size six clothes were only JUST starting to become too loose) was 147. I got down to 142 following a bad bout of tightness with my band and didn't like it probably because of how I got there and the associated weakness from not being able to eat properly.
So anyway, here I am. Back in my size 6 clothing and ranging from 154-156.
I look great in clothes. But it's summertime. Bikinis. And I have become fixated on my problem areas. The typical post-bariatric surgery problem areas. You know. Arms (aka bat wings). Lower tummy (aka apron). Inner thighs (aka WTF?!?!?!).
Most people upon learning that I've had weight loss surgery and lost more than 100lbs ask if I've had surgery to 'fix anything' and are shocked to learn that I haven't. They, apparently, don't see what I see.
I find myself googling pics of the results of these surgeries. And I am quite sure I've decided that for ME, what I have is better than what I'd end up with. Loose skin is better for me than frankenstein scars.
I would LOVE to get my arms fixed, but an elbow to armpit scar just doesn't appeal.
I'd LOVE to get a lower body tuck and tummy tuck, but a scar that goes all the way around my hips just doesn't appeal.
But still, I'm fixated. and unhappy with my body post surgery.
I work in a hospital and bumped into our great local cosmetic surgeon on Friday and told him I'd like to come in for an evaluation.... he knows I have no interest in his surgery, but I know that he, better than anyone, can evaluate my arms, thighs and tummy and let me know realistically whether continued intense working out and eating healthy is likely to improve these areas. Or if it really is just a loose skin situation that would only be resolved with surgery.
Anyone else struggling with these thoughts?
Any of you had surgery? If so - pleased with the results?

Paddleboarding and Garlic Crab

What an amazing day yesterday was. There's a relatively new company here offering paddleboarding (SUP) lessons and rentals. I've wanted to try it for a while, but hadn't had a free Saturday. Mentioned it to a few friends only to find out they were all eager to give it a whirl, so I organised a private lesson for give of us.
What a blast we had. I'm amazed at how quickly we got comfortable on the boards... considering the first 15 minutes out on the water my legs were non-stop shaking.
We ended up being quite adept at it and got to try a bit of their Paddlefit class.... paddle out to a certain point, 10 squats, 10 mountainclimbers, 10 pushups, paddle back into shore.... do that 3x. Wow.... those exercises can be a challenge on dry land, much less on a wobbly floating board.
While out there we saw starfish, a baby eagle ray and a sea turtle. I'm definitely going to be doing that again. Great all over body workout - especially core once you get the technique down.
The photos were taken with a GoPro with no zoom, so we're just specks... but gives you an idea of just how beautiful the scenery was!

Last night a group of friends got together for boiled garlic crabs. We have large land crabs here (well not here in Nassau, but on various family islands) this time of year and it's one of my favorite meals. I love the taste, but as a bandster who still struggles with the concept of being full and having to stop after a few bites of food, I enjoy the experience of eating crabs because it seems like I'm getting to eat a lot more.... i'm not, obviously, but it takes a while to get to the meat and gives the sensation of actually eating a meal. LOL

My Dad is currently participating in LeTape du Tour -- the stage of the Tour de France opened up each year to amateurs. He's one of 13,500+ from more than 50 countries giving it a whirl. the course is insane - up mountain sides (keep in mind we live on a flat rock!) Last email I had from Mom who's keeping put at the finish village he was about 6 hours in. I'm not sure how long it should take him, but man..... that man is inspiring! Not to mention, a tough act to follow!!!!

Today I'm spending a leisurely morning catching up on the latest on that awful plane crash in San Francisco. My heart goes out to all. A bit later I think there's a pool with my name on it, followed by cake and ice cream for a birthday party.

Life is good

When. Oh When. Will. I. Ever. Learn?

Two and a half years post op and I still haven't learned to ALWAYS RESPECT that soft signal that I'm full. Yesterday and again today I had great food days. Ate within my limits, made pretty good choices (only a half a sliver of the cakes at the BBQ) and had no pain or discomfort at all.
Until I decided to take one more teensy, tiny fork of the Italian pasta salad leftovers that I ate for dinner.
One more.... not because I was hungry.  But because it tasted good.  And it was there.  
That one teensy tiny fork of Italian pasta salad got stuck. And after 2+ hours of pain and discomfort, it came back up. Along with much of what had been a perfectly adequate amount for dinner.
Arghhhhhhhhh

I did do a blog post the other day, but stupid blogger ate it.

My appointment with nutritionist last week was a cooking demo. He made tuna oat cakes with fresh fruit and pepper salsa. It was delicious, and I have the recipe. When I get a moment, I'll share... again... stupid Blogger....

Weight was still 160. I was disappointed even though clothes are fitting looser. Nutritionist was thrilled. As he pointed out, that's maintenance over 2 weeks of travel, stress and less than usual exercise. I suppose.

This morning my scale showed 157 so hopefully that means things are moving in the right direction.

Have a great Tuesday!

Bento box

I really enjoy following Shelley's blog in large part because of her love for bento box lunches.

She makes eating on such a small scale seem like so much fun!

So as I'm on this journey of rediscovering what it is that will make my metabolism wake up, and learning to eat more but keep it healthy and nutritious, I decided to invest in my own colourful Bento Box from the same company she got hers. It also inspires me to do what my nutritionist asked me to do and bring lunch into work at least 3x a week.

This was yesterday's 'buffet'. I ate the trailmix that was in the tiny green container for breakfast and then had just the egg salad (most of it) and the rye whole grain crackers for lunch. Cheese stick and fruit went back home.

And today's offering. Chicken salad, Ate all that for lunch, but wasn't really that hungry since I had 2/3 of a greek yogurt with sunflower and chia seeds sprinkled in. A few bites of the avocado which had NO TASTE. For dessert, I had the trail mix and a bit later, the cheese stick. Fruit and crackers heading home.

I find it helps to keep things fun and interesting. I also must stay on top of things and be prepared so I'm not wasting time in the morning wondering what i'm going to take in for the day.

I meet with my nutritionist tomorrow morning for the first time in two weeks. Two weeks that have included two trips and not a whole lot of exercise, but clothes are fitting nicely -- still have a few pounds to go before I can claim all the pants in my closet again. My size 8 slacks almost fell down yesterday.

Hope you're all having good food choice days :)

Triathlons, Eleuthera and living life

Finally getting a moment to catch up on the past few days. Went to Eleuthera Friday morning as planned on the ferry.... lord it felt like we were never going to get there, but was a comfortable ride.
We arrived in Current, Eleuthera and drove down to Gregory Town where the Pineapplethon triathlon was going to be the following morning.
The house we had rented was just a bit further south. Great house except for the fact that the walls in the two pods housing three bedrooms and a bathroom each don't go up to the ceiling -- they're open.... so no privacy and a bit dodgy when it comes to bathroom time....
I felt the views from SeaCliff were well worth it though. Amazing to sit there and look out over the ocean.
We had a relatively early night Friday because it was up early and back to Gregory Town Saturday for the triathlon.
My swim was awesome. Beat one of our guy friends (who's a swimmer, btw) out of the water and was actually the first female out of the water. Felt great to see how my swim training paid off big time.
Apparently I need to start putting more time in on the bike and run as it went downhill from there. My band was tight that morning so no food went in.. I felt like I was biking and walking on fumes.
My friend Ann, who'd run in a relay, came back on the course to run me back home. That was pretty awesome of her.
The day went downhill from there. Once I'd finished, my father pulled me aside to let me know that the call he'd received the night before was to tell him that a dear friend of ours had died suddenly the Friday evening.
I'm still in shock about it. Shlomi was one of the really good guys. We've known him since he and his wife (who is the daughter of some of my parents' best friends) started dating him in college. He left behind 3 young kids. The youngest was born the day he handed me the keys to my house -- he was my contractor as well. She turned 2 in March so will have no personal memories of her awesome dad. Shlomi would have turned 40 this coming Friday. He collapsed and died while playing soccer with some buddies of his. They did this every Friday. I haven't heard yet whether a cause of death has been established.
I also can't believe my dad held that in so long. He waited until I'd finished my race before breaking the news. One of the women in our group who just met him this weekend said to me 'if I hadn't already fallen in love with your dad, I would have for that alone.'
Not sure yet when there will be a memorial service in Nassau. I understand his wife, kids, his brothers (flying in from the US) and his wife's family were all going to take him to Israel to be buried next to his father per his wishes.
Crying again as I write this. RIP Shlomi Zlicha. You are missed.

ok... can't end on the sad note. The weekend, although melancholy, was a good time. I was lucky to be surrounded by great friends.
On Sunday we checked out of our rental house and drove up north to get a ferry over to Harbour Island for the day. We puttered around on our golf carts, had a  lovely lunch and then chilled out on the stunning, world famous, Pink Sand Beach. Bliss.
The slow boat to Nassau got us home around 10, so it was late by the time we got home.
Monday morning, I frantically sorted out my stuff and packed another suitcase, this time for a trip to S. Florida with my 15 yo niece to do some shopping for her for camp. It's been a great couple days. Lots of quality bonding time :)
Tomorrow morning we head home and although I am technically still on vacation, barring a flight delay, I'll go to the company's Annual General Meeting at 6pm.... the fun just never ends.
Ok... off to do my life coaching class homework for Friday morning's class!

Photos from the weekend below

Me and my lil buddy Kami. I didn't even think twice about posing for a photo in a bikini. It didn't even occur to me to use her as a shield until after the pic had been snapped!

Start of the triathlon. A small, but fun field of competitors. We swam out to the white buoy, across to one out of the photo, and back in.

Kami and I checking out the sights from down below our house's cliff

the amazing deck at our rental house. Incredible views.

as if i needed a sign to tell me!

bikes at the start of the triathlon. mine is the second from the left end...

looking down the steps of the cliff face

and looking up. climbing down AFTER the triathlon wasn't my smartest move of the weekend...

Late afternoon at Rainbow Bay Beach

don't ask.... but from this angle my stomach was wonderfully flat!

ugh..... blogger has squished me here!

I never did make it into the water on Pink Sand Beach on Harbour Island. I was exhausted and found myself a nice lounge chair under a thatch hut and napped.

I was super impressed to see the healthy options Jet Blue serves onboard. 

That's me. not taking up too much room in my airplane seat. Look at all that seatbelt left over! To think pre-lapband I was a mouthful away from having to ask for the dreaded seatbelt extension thingamajiggy!!!!!!! NSV for sure!!!

Eleuthera bound

Tomorrow morning a group of friends and I will board a ferry bound for Current, eleuthera. We're going for the Bahamian labour day holiday weekend to participate in the Pineappleman sprint triathlon and partake in the associated festivities of pineapple fest in Gregory town.
Just finished packing... trying to keep it light as possible since there's a crowd of us cramming into just a couple vehicles. Triathlon gear, beach towel, bikini, hat, couple cute sundresses, PJ's, and lots sunblock n mosquito repellent!
Bound to be a great time!
Will take and post some pix as I can

Jessica

On the right track

Had a session with my nutritionist today and since Wednesday, am down 2lbs and a half inch off my waist!!!!
What did I do, you ask? I started EATING. The body (mine in particular, it seems) are amazing. It's not about calories in, calories burned. I'm still likely at a deficit, but our goal is to feed my body up to 5 times a day to wake up my metabolism. Anyone with a band knows how tough this can be. But it's mini mini meals. A single mini frittata can be one meal.
My goals for this coming week:
Eat breakfast every day.
Up my water intake - again, a challenge juggling that in with the increased eating frequency, but it can be done.
And..... shoot.... can't remember the other thing. Will email him tomorrow.

Fascinating revelation... when we were discussing meal options for breakfast, we were talking about peanut butter and apple slices. And he asked if I know Nutella. DO I KNOW NUTELLA?!?!?! turns out the commercials with the Mom serving it up on toast to her kids for breakfast isn't a crock of poop after all. Yes, it is higher in sugar and lower in protein, but otherwise, the two match up pretty much identically on the nutrition label. Who'da thunk it.

So My life is about to get even more crazy. Tomorrow I start my first course towards getting certified as a Life/Health Coach! This is tied into my job.... and I'm so excited about it. We are launching a Weight Management Solutions program to help patients with weight - whether they are morbidly obese and opt for surgical intervention, or just can't get those 20-30lbs off. As part of our comprehensive program of medical professionals, we will have a health coach assigned to each patient/client. And I've been selected to be the health coach coordinator and work with patients too. Lots of work ahead, but feels like a PERFECT fit for me.

Thanks to my lovelies Angela, Dawnya and Karin for your kind comments and welcoming me back here. I think Facebook and the fact that I'm linked to you all there is part of the reason I fell off the blogging wagon, but the fact is that we don't share these kinds of things in FB land. It feels good to be back.

Yes... it's been a while

And by a while, I mean almost a year since I last posted here. Many reasons.... not going to get into them. But I'm back.

Lots of things going on that make this a good place for me to turn.

I'm almost 3 years to the date I started this journey and September will be 3 years with the band. Good days. Awful days. In general the best thing I ever did for myself.

That said, it's a constant struggle with my weight. And I think that's the main reason I feel compelled to come back here. The trend is that most bloggers disappear once they've had the surgery and settle into post band life. But I want to share my experience to show that a) it's NOT a magic bullet. b) success CAN happen c) the band is NOT EVIL if you do what you're supposed to do (with some exceptions).

I started at 262.2lbs and busting out of a size 20. Lowest I got to was 142 and size 6 was baggy. I didn't like it there in part because I got there during a period my band was giving me challenges and I wasn't eating or drinking enough.

147-149 seems to be my happiest point. Around Easter this year, I was 178 and climbing. The band had been wide open since November and I'd been holding steady around 158.... and then all of a sudden, hunger was insatiable and constant and my portion capacity was much higher.

So on came the weight.

My surgeon (GOD BLESS HIM) and I agreed to ease up to a sweet spot since my band tends to be temperamental and I have managed to get down to 162 so far.

But it's been frustrating. Good restriction. Intense exercise. Scale not moving. Argh! I have the world's WORST metabolism.

So, I am now working with a nutritionist. The party's over. By that, I mean, I KNOW that I've not been the poster child for good food choices. I've battled weight all my life and spent most of my adult life depriving myself or indulging and experiencing guilt and weight gain consequences.

So with the band, I had a year or so of just living free. If i wanted it, I had a bit and it was for the first time in my life OK TO DO THAT.

But as I said. Party's over. That free for all is no longer getting me where I want to be - which is 147-149, lean, healthy.

After last Wednesday's session with my nutritionist, we agreed that in order for me to do the things he wants me to do in order to jump start my metabolism (assuming i have one?!?!) I needed to open the band up a wee bit in order to increase the frequency with which I can eat.

My surgeon (GOD BLESS HIM) gave me the slight unfill and I've been good to go. Good restriction, but not so much that I can't eat or am sliming.

I told my nutritionist that my true goal is to live with an open band. Like my friend Fluffy does. And to be more accountable and disciplined with my food choices like my friend Karin does.

SO I've been doing my dreaded food journalling. I know I'm getting too many sweets and sugars in still, but I'm working on it.

My instructions for week one. Have something for breakfast - even if it's a cup of coffee. Switch from refined sugar to brown sugar. Make lunch and take it into work at least 2x a week. Add some resistance training/weight bearing exercise to my cardio intense program.

So far, I've done the first two. I'm currently making mini frittatas with egg, a bit of cheese, black beans, mushrooms, green onion and organic bruschetta to accomplish the third. And as for the fourth, I've discussed it with my workout buddy and after this coming week, we'll do that at least one morning. - only holding off because we have a triathlon in Eleuthera next weekend so don't want to do something that could cause pain until that's over!

Ta

Jessica

A day of shopping

Some great friends of mine own a charter airline and today they had empty legs going over to west palm beach this morning and back to Nassau this eve .so the wife in the couple, their 6yo daughter and I went along for an intense day of shopping. I had some things to get for my upcoming Asia trip and some other bits n pieces including a new TV for my bedroom. ....the old one I have makes am awful piercing noise and I know its going to die soon.
Got me a nice big flat screen with built in side load DVD player.
Also got shoes. Ummmm like 15 pairs of shoes. I can explain. ...I've got lots of shoes that really should be tossed but I need shoes and shoe shopping on this rock is right up there add one of the most frustrating experiences ever. I hit the biff time in tjmaxx today so now can toss the old ones.
OK that was my dirty little secret for today. It was so nice to be able to but built our heavy items for once because I wasn't flying commercial
Band's still empty three and a half weeks and still have decent restriction IF I eat the right sorts of foods and lISTEN for and obey the soft signs that I've eaten enough. Right now the predominant soft sign is burping. I had planned to rush in to my surgeons office for a fill Monday. Then said Thursday for sure.. ..keep thinking I should get it filled for the month before I go to Asia and get it emptied again for the trip but I'm going to keep going and see if I can manage this myself by keeping on doing what I know I should be doing.

B loody blog spot

Wrote a post earlier this eve to show you my swim practice site . Stupid post is still publishing.
I swam about 1200 meters....out to a buoy and back 8 times. Felt good.

These are the photos I took for you.

No idea how they'll publish from my phone.

This morning my friend and I completed w6d3 of couch to 5 k. A 25 minute run. And it felt pretty good. 7 weeks ago I hated every. Single. Step. Of the one minute runs. And I sounded like a very ill Darth Vader. This program really is amazing.

Today's number.. .. 46

Nope . Not the amount of weight I've gained in the 3 weeks my band has been wide open.. ..that's more like 7....completely manageable and acceptable for me.
No. ...there are just 46 days till three girlfriends and I head off on our Asia trip.
Thailand. Vietnam. Cambodia. OMG I am so excited I could spit.
2 1/2 weeks. 
Three of us are here in Nassau and we fly to Bangkok via London. We have about1 10 hours layover in London so what better way to spend it than in a spa near Heathrow airport.
I'll edit this when on my computer and not my phone to include links to the trip itinerary and the spa. ..or maybe I'll just do another blog.
Did w6d2 of c25k this morning and have a 45 min  bike ride tomorrow bright n early. Then a day in the boat to a nearby island. Another day in paradise

Another day in Paradise

Saturday evening my dad and i managed to pull off a surprise birthday party for my mom. We rented a 56" sailboat for a dinner cruise and invited her closest friends along. It was absolutely lovely. Thought I'd share some of the photos.

me... self portrait. of course

it was so fun to just sit on the bow and enjoy the water and cool breeze

that's my dad

no idea what i was laughing about

the sunset was stunning

that's my mom on the right

i look drunk or dying. i was neither.

we cruised past the cruise ships in Nassau Harbour

Wide open with restriction

My band has been wide open for 2 weeks now. I'm up about 7lb s which for me is an absolute miracle. I feel this time that had I been Good these two weeks I'd be the same weight. Truth is, I'm wide open and still I have restriction....  when I eat properly. and I haven't all the time... or even close to all the time. Hence the gain. Dr d is back on the island and although I can't make it to his next clinic Thursday, I know if I call he'll sort me out.
But you know what. I'm going to be strong and now that my two week food fest is over I'm going to eat. And drink properly for a week and see if I can manage this myself for a bit.... take on a bit more of the heavy lifting so to speak.
BTW... look forward to more consistent blogging from yours truly. Just got my snazzy new phone and downloaded the blogger app. Yay!

Empty Band.... still

This is going to be interesting. I'm quite proud of me.... I was supposed to call Dr D at 5 this evening to arrange to meet up over at the ER for him to fill my absolutely empty band up a bit again. We emptied it completely to provide some MUCH needed relief Monday morning.
Well I've still got good restriction. No pain, but definitely restriction so long as I listen to my body and don't try to keep shoveling food in just because I can. Yesterday late morning I had a bit of tuna and grits (yummmo). I still felt quite satisfied and not in the least bit hungry when lunchtime rolled around so I opted out since I was going out to dinner at one of my fave restaurants.
I had a small piece of brushetta, then ordered the fried calamari appetizer. I had a few pieces and then offered it up to my friends to have some.
For the main course I ordered the seafood risotto. I ate about 1/3 of what came on my plate and was well satisfied. I of course had a few bites of the sticky toffee pudding and ice cream we shared between the three of us and the cookies that come with the coffee my friends ordered.
Today for lunch I had the leftovers of the risotto - about 1/3 cup. Probably could have stopped at 1/4 cup so need to watch those soft signals.
I had a chocolate bar as well this afternoon. Definitely gotta watch that.
Well anyway the reason I was supposed to get filled up this evening is Dr D is going away tomorrow until the 16th.
Usually we hesitate to leave me unfilled for long because I pack on the pounds like NOBODY's business.
But since Monday my hunger pangs have been appropriate and manageable and y restriction level quite good. I am sure it just means I'm still irritated and swollen and so things haven't settled back down yet.
Which means between now and the 16th, I could turn into a fiend who'll eat anything in sight.
But as I discussed with him on the phone this evening, I'd prefer to fight that battle than to get filled, he leave the island and THEN I realise it was too much too soon and I spend two weeks in pain and unable to eat and drink.
Pray for me people. Pray for me.

Bad blogger. Feeling awful

So in addition to finally WRITING a blog the other night. I also FINALLY started trying to catch up with my blogger friends. I'd figured part of the reason I wasn't so into blogger was because I'd connected with so many of my bandmates on Facebook. Well I realise now that there are a few who I love who aren't on Facebook at all. So I missed out on Catherine's engagement announcement. And there are others who, like me, are guarded about what they share on FB... some remain in the closet about their surgery so even though I've been following them on FB, I've missed out on some really big news.... like Angela's lapband removal and revision surgery. I feel like such a heel.

The new face of BeriBeri Syndrome....

A month or so ago, I started getting a weird itching and heating sensation along my jawlines and in my ears. I could best describe it as being 'under the skin' and it was driving me INSANE. I made an appointment with a new dermatologist at the hospital, even though I sensed this was not a skin issue.
She was fantastic. She'd already looked at my file and had questions about my nutrition post-lapband.
She agreed this was not a skin thing, but rather an inappropriate nerve reaction.
So she ordered up some blood work. When the test results came back, she called me immediately. Turns out I have Beriberi syndrome. It's a B1 or Thiamine deficiency and can be fatal. Luckily we caught it early and the symptoms should be reversible. The important thing was that we arrest the development, get my thiamine levels up to an acceptable place and hold off the really bad symptoms --


"Untreated, beriberi is often deadly. With treatment, symptoms usually improve quickly.

Heart damage is usually reversible, and a full recovery is expected. However, if acute heart failure has already occurred, the outlook is poor.

Nervous system damage is also reversible, if caught early. If it is not caught early, some symptoms (such as memory loss) may remain even with treatment.

If a patient with Wernicke's encephalopathy receives thiamine replacement, language problems, unusual eye movements, and walking difficulties may go away. However, Korsakoff syndrome (or Korsakoff psychosis) tends to develop as Wernicke's symptoms go away.

Possible Complications

• Coma
• Congestive heart failure
• Death
• Psychosis"

Turns out Beriberi is VERY uncommon in the developed world because we are so well fed. But when, like I have due to my lapband surgery, you cut out - red meats, leafy greens and fortified whole grains - you lose your thiamine and develop beriberi. Most cases in the development world are found in alcoholics.

SO learn from my lesson, good people. I was TERRIBLE about taking vitamins and supplements and figured I was ok. Not so. I immediately started taking a chewable multi-vitamin and since then have had very few flare ups.

Stuck. Again.

I am stuck. this time on sour cream and onion potato chips. earlier today i was stuck on some butter pecan ice cream. I know. NOT a banner food day, but I've been stuck on just about everything I've eaten for a couple weeks (maybe more) now and figured today, just today, I'd try some foods that for me are usually sliders if ONLY to enjoy a pain-and-slime-and-pb-free day. No such luck.
As is usually the case with me, I suffer through this for weeks (maybe more) when it happens because I know what will likely happen when I get an unfill --- pack on the pounds.
But you know what, as I sit here at this very moment, I realise that I can't and shouldn't suffer like this any longer. Tomorrow morning Dr D. has clinic and I'll get his wonderful office team to squeeze me in. If not, I'll link up with him and make a date for one of the ER cubicles (bonus of working alongside my surgeon at the hospital!)
This latest string of stuck episodes has also prompted me to start blogging again. Not because I want pity -- my non-banded friends are well acquainted with my band issues and definitely sympathise with me when I get like this. No.... I am blogging because I realise that most of us fall off the blogging wagon when we've no longer got losses and losing milestones to chime in about. But this stuff is important too. For those of you considering getting banded, for those at the start of your journey, for those who like me, are continuing with our struggle nearly two years (or more) after having surgery.
A friend asked me today if knowing all this I'd do it again. I didn't hesitate for a second to say 'hell yeah' because I tried everything else and had no results. my Lapband has helped me achieve the results (and better) than I set out to achieve, but I have learned that there are pay offs.
being stuck on sour cream and onion potato chips with a likely chaser of butter pecan ice cream is one of those pay offs.
Now excuse me while I go and try to force the issue. I'd rather pb than endure this unbearable pain in my gut for a single second longer.

Sponsor my Ride for Hope!

I've been bad. No. I've been worse than that. Not a single blog entry since early November. And I honestly haven't been good about keeping up with reading others's blogs. But I can explain. What had happened was..... forget it... the technological excuse that I was using has now been resolved and I'm gonna do better. I promise.

Far too much business been going on for me to even attempt to catch up.

In a nutshell, band was emptied completely then re-filled early December because, as I pointed out to my surgeon (if i were the poster child for discipline and self-restraint I wouldn't have needed a band in the first place). Was doing well and then BAM! for the past 2 weeks Betsy's been tight and irritated. I've backed off food and am trying soup only to hopefully get things to settle down without needing an unfill.

I'm right now at about 148 and feel good here. Wear small and extra small tops and mostly size 6 with some size 4 pants. Can see myself going a bit smaller if I can get back into hardcore exercise but it's not a goal nor is it necessary.

I FINALLY had an MRI on my hip and pelvis after months of rest and physio-therapy failed to improve things. Saw my doc this morning and the good news is: I don't have cancer, nerve damage or arthritis. The bad news is my MRI came back NORMAL! So he was going to come down to the hospital this afternoon and look over it with the radiologist to see if they can find anything by taking various closer looks, but the long and short of it is I still have no resolution.

Work is going well. Keeping me busy, but I'm loving working in a healthcare environment.

sylvia my fur baby is doing well in case you were wondering.

It doesn't look like I'm going to make it to BooBs this year :( -- Earlier in September some girlfriends and I are going to Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia as our epic 40th bday trip and I'll be away for almost 3 weeks. I can't really swing another long weekend away (and getting to and from Chicago from here takes about a day of traveling each way because of stupid flight times). Also, just found out that the Triathlon I competed in on a relay last year is the 30th September and i'd promised myself that so long as I can get this hip thing sorted I'll do the whole thing. Worst case I'll swim or bike or both and just get me a runner!

Speaking of biking.... I've registered for the Ride for Hope in April. It's an awesome event that takes place on the island of Eleuthera. The course is 100 miles, but riders can do anywhere from 10 up... they have turnaround points throughout the course. My friend and I are aiming for 51-75, but if training between now and then is consistent and goes well, I might try for a Century. I'm including the link to my Ride for Hope page here so you can check out the event details -- money raised goes towards some very worthwhile cancer-related charities here in The Bahamas. You can also follow along on my training and other random updates. And if you can and feel so inclined, you can sponsor my ride. Everyone who signs up promises to raise at least $250 and I'd LOVE to raise much more. The very lovely (as demonstrated in her recent gorgeous photo shoot) Beth Ann over at Beth Ann's Never-ending Quest for SOMETHING was the first to sponsor me. THANKS LADY!

My Ride for Hope Page

Cheerios my lovelies

hmmmmmmmm......

So I had the unfill last night taking me down to 3cc in my 10cc band.

Here's what's odd.

I have not had insatiable hunger pangs as I've had in the past with the unfills.

My capacity has not increased significantly as it has in the past with the unfills.

Eating does not hurt as it has for the past few weeks or so which is WONDERFUL!

This evening I was down to 140.2 on the scale.

That's 142lbs lost overnight. Ha Ha... can't believe I wrote that I weighed 242lbs yesterday. Old habits die hard.

Was at the physiotherapist again today and I had noticed that for the first time in a while my 'hip' wasn't hurting today. She could feel a significant difference in the muscles while doing the myofacial release and she did some strength testing and i was able to push back in ways I hadn't been able to do when I first saw her.

PROGRESS! She says if i'm like that on Monday then she'll proceed to strengthening exercises. YAY YAY YAY! Am cautiously optimistic that I'm on the road to recovery.

And, she suggested that I consider adding some yoga to my overall exercise mix. She says I don't have awful posture, but definitely improper posture which I shouldn't have considering I am strong. She said it has to to with not being aware of my body because of the rapid weight loss... that my brain hasn't caught up with my new body. There's some technical term she used to describe it and for the life of me I can't remember so I will make a note to get her to write it down when I go on Monday. I want to do some research on it and share it with you too!

And then there were THREE

THREE cc's left in my 10cc band, that is.

Even though Betsy has definitely eased up on me this week, I pb'd on my campbells potato soup yesterday and decided I needed to go ahead with the unfill.

Dr D and I chatted about it and we're both concerned that with the teensy tiny amounts I'm able to eat that I won't be able to halt the weight loss and at 242lbs this morning and my size 6 suit pants looking like clown pants, I've cried enough.

Who EVER would have imagined that *I* would be asking for help to STOP losing weight?!?!?! lololol gotta love it.

Anyway, I had 5cc in - he'd already reduced it a wee bit since the last complete unfill a month or two ago and decided to try me at 3cc. He said he'll see me in a month to see how Betsy and I are managing.

This evening I know I should be on just liquids but I had a slice of deli ham and it was indeed a pleasure NOT TO FEEL STUCK. Also had a small ice cream cone for medicinal purposes.

Will let you know how things go throughout the weekend. My biggest concern will be managing the hunger pangs. SOOOOOOO.... hard when it's been so long since you've truly experienced them. But I can do it. I know I can.

Oh.... got home this evening and my new bike was waiting for me at the security booth. I walked back there and rode her home. I'm in love! I've called her Pearl since her official colour is 'pearly white'.

Will set her up tomorrow night in the stationary stand unless I can manage to get home early enough to go for a spin.