To Do List

i thought about making a 'wish list' of things i hope come out of this journey. but instead, i'm calling it my 'To Do List' because wishing ain't gonna get me nowhere and these are things i intend to do either on this journey or once i get to goal weight.

1. get a belly ring. 
2. inspired by Amy, I will waterski once again.
3. Throw out all but one pair of 'can you believe these used to be tight' pants and feel confident i'll never need them again.
4. wear a bikini on a public beach and strut
5. complete the Couch to 5k
6. Run a 5k
7. get in front of the camera often 
8. have sexy pics taken 
9. go horseback riding again
10. get a Brazillian

this list is likely to be added to and re-appear as this blog continues. 

Baggy Pants and other random nsv's

When I went to my nutritionist yesterday I wore the same pair of cute capris I'd worn 2 weeks earlier. There was definitely a bit more room when I put them on, but all was good. well they have some stretch to them and by mid afternoon i was constantly hiking them up! Managed to get just two wears out of them.

we have killer stairs at the radio station i work for. down 10 stairs, walk across the lobby, up 15 stairs, bank a corner and up about 30 more (no idea the exact numbers but i'll try to remember to count them tomorrow). well usually when i get upstairs, i am absolutely completely out of breath..... for a while. well today my boss and i walked inside at the same time and carried on a conversation all the way up to the office area and i wasn't breathless! yay!

yesterday my foot finally felt strong enough to go walking so a good friend and i went for a 40 minute power walk. it was the first time in a loooooooooong time of our sporadic walking attempts that i haven't had severe cramping in my calves or along the sides of my lower legs. we went again today and it felt wonderful.

i haven't had a coke zero in more than 2 weeks. i used to drink six a day easy. my car was littered with empty cans and bottles. now my car is littered with empty water bottles!

i'm not horrified when someone posts a pic of me and my fat on facebook now because i know those are just ammo for my future 'as i was' album. and that's important to have.

ok. i think that's far more than enough for now :)

Lucky # 13

Just got back from my follow up meeting with my nutritionist and officially have lost 13lbs in 2 weeks. The trainer who was taking my weight asked me what i'd weighed the last time and when i told her 260, she moved the bar to 250.... when it didn't move she went 'hmmmm'... and rearranged it where it settled at 247.

I am stoked! Dr Patti (nutritionist) gave me a big ole High Five when she saw it. She was also really impressed with my food journal and the decisions i've been making.

next week i go in for my physical fitness test. i also met with the two personal trainers who seem really great and friendly (until they're making me do crunches and lunges....)

Dr Patti and i talked about the whole 'if i can do so well by following her plan do i really need a lapband' concern. she is fully for this particular procedure and assured me that it will be a good thing.

she already warned me that we're going to be gradually cutting back on the amount of food i consume and starting a once a week clear liquids only day in order to best prepare me for post surgery. aye aye aye.

A few things we talked about that i'd like to share in case they help others.

1. on hair loss. Not knowing the particular details of people who've been experiencing this phenomenon, she thinks it's highly unlikely people are losing their hair as a result of surgery trauma and believes it's more likely that they're not getting proper nutrition.

2. i asked if she thought i'd ever be normal.... i want to eat like normal people do. i don't want to be restricting myself entirely when it comes to food choices (unless my band doesn't allow them through). She asked what in particular I was thinking of. i spat out 'ice cream' even though it's not something i eat excessively now. i told her i am quite happy to continue eating the kinds of foods i've been eating these past two weeks because i enjoy the foods and feel good. but i need to know that once in a while i can go ahead and have some ice cream or some pizza or other 'bad' food and not lose the plot. she assured me that so long as i continue to work on my approach to food the way we've started, there's no reason whatsoever that i can't have those things, but i need to take control of them. - indulge in one cookie or one slice of pizza or a small serving of ice cream. and that's what normal people do.

3. i asked what my caloric intake will be once i reach solids post op and she said that will be entirely dependent on my weight and health and fitness at that time.

4. My bowel movements, as i suspected, are completely out of whack. when i told her i'd go roughly once every three days, she said we need to get that to once a day. i told her i've never been a once a day kinda girl. she said 'not yet.' so i came away with more supplements to help regularise my bowels. dear lord i hate taking pills!

Ok. now back to work. today is a good day!!!

Prayers Answered

So I got what I prayed (and worked hard) for and then some. When i first met with Dr Patti almost 2 weeks ago and went off with promises and determination to follow the eating plan, never did i dream i'd be coming back in 2 weeks in the 240's! Now my appt with her is Monday, so this is just what I need to help me get through the weekend on track.

Onto other things -- popped into the foodstore yesterday afternoon to grab some yogurt and US$4.99 organic eggs (yes, just 12) and thanked God I didn't need vegetables! This was the veggie section.... no sign, no people to explain what was going on..... ugh.... you guys in the US think it's hard to eat right?!?! Look at what I have to overcome!

Dear God...

Ok... here's where I admit that I'm a scale slave. Funny.... when i'm doing what i should be doing -- eating well, drinking 10 gallons of water a day, exercising (well not right now because of foot) -- i can't stay off that scale of mine. Every morning after I pee for sure, and sometimes during the day.

Now before you judge or criticise, it's good for me to get on that scale often. if i don't then one slip up leads to 2lbs back on, i don't realise.... another slip up, next thing you know, i'm 262.5lbs again.

so now i have that off my chest, let me say that i had a really good poo today and i'm hoping, praying actually

Dear God,

please let that scale say 24-anything tomorrow morning when i wake up.

amen

Blind Love

Me again. This is a post i've been thinking about since i read something Pie posted on my blog yesterday I think it was.

"I too have a skinny, fit boyfriend who loves me regardless of my size and in a way it drives me nuts! If I wasn't so blissfully in love with someone who loved me back unconditionally all these years I probably wouldn't have gained so much weight! (Okay, now that's just a silly problem to have!)"


It got me to thinking. and that can be dangerous! i believe my problem is just the opposite. it's BECAUSE i'm in a committed loving relationship with a skinny blind (not really) man that i finally feel i can do this.


somewhere along the way on my weight loss and gain journey i stopped to think about why it is i could get so far and then fall completely off the wagon. 


i've dated here and there, but until a few years back never really entered into a long term relationship. this is my second one. but i have always equated my desirabilty (or seemingly lack thereof) with my weight. 


i figured i was always single because i was fat. and one day i had a horrible thought.... what if i get skinny and STILL no one wants me?!?! then i couldn't blame it on my weight and then what?!?!


and so, now that I have someone who desires me at any weight, i feel comfortable and confident in my journey towards skinny jeans and bikinis!


this is complete train of thought writing so i apologise if i'm not making a lot of sense. 

Poop. Double Poop

What blog would be complete without a mention of bowel movements. I've read far too many bowel movement stories to be apologising here :)

I've never been a poop a day kinda girl, but since I've started following my lower carb and sugar eating plan, i've noticed i'm down to about once every 3-4 days. I'm peeing like a race horse. One cup in, one cup out. But #2 eludes me.

Is there a 'normal' when it comes to #2 or is it just determining what's 'normal' for me?

The double poop part of this post title refers to the fact that i'm having to now pick lighting for the two houses we're building.... again..... lighting has to be one of the hardest things to select because there are just too many choices! I already tortured myself through the process once, and got notice tonight that the company i'm ordering everything through no longer deals with the manufacturer i'd selected.

what irritates me beyond measure is that prior to spending HOURS picking out lights, I emailed the company to confirm that they still dealt with this manufacturer because i didn't see them listed on the website. I was told yup. This email correspondence took place a month after they dropped the manufacturer. so because someone didn't want to bother checking even though i threw up a red flag, here i am picking another freaking manufacturer and selecting lighting once again. two houses means 6 bathroom vanity lights, god knows how many outdoor lights, 4 chandaliers, sconces, flushmounts...... argh!

Times like this I rue the day i decided to eat healthy and give up beer!!!!

You guys are the BEST!

I am overwhelmed by the thought out, heartfelt, honest responses to this major question about why the Band is necessary.

Thank you for validating my thought process as I go on this journey.
amandakiska  
Pie  
Carmen  
TJ   
Cindylew  
Jenny


It's funny. my dbf asked me how i'm doing on the eating plan last night. when i told him how much i've lost, he immediately smiled and said 'so you don't need the thing (the band)'. He's 100% supportive of me if i feel this is the best thing for me, but god bless him, he's blind. he's a skinny, fit fella who met me when i was 240ish and didn't notice when i ballooned up to 260ish and thinks i'm 'smokin' as is. wish i could see myself through his eyes just once! 


When i first started telling him about wanting to get the lap band, he listened to my explanations of what it is and what it does and asked if he could come to one of my meetings with one of my docs sometime! Of course last night when i said that i told him all about you guys and how i've been exploring this matter with lots of help!!!!


I also read on this question in this really educational and interesting book . Basically, Dr Sewell considers morbid obesity (i sooooooo... hate that term!) a disease and asks if you'd try to self medicate on something like heart disease. the obvious answer is no and so he asks why you think you can treat this dieases without professional help.


Speaking of professional help, Dr Patti my nutritionist called today out of the blue just to check up and see how I'm doing. I told her about the foot incident and explained that I've gotten clearance to give my walking a try and she reminded me to take it easy.


I also told her that although I'm doing great following the eating programme, my adrenal fatigue is in full force. So she's going to have some additional supplements for me when I have my appt on monday. I'm really thrilled that she actually called me. makes me really confident that she's a great person to have on my team.


Dr Patti also wants me to consider swimming for exercise initially to reduce pressure and stress on joints and all. I swam competitively all through high school and college, but haven't done any in a LOOOOONG time. Went to the local sporting supply store today to see if they have speedo in my size. the largest they have is a bit tight (read a lot tight. like sausage casing tight) for me and a bit too skimpy in the back for my liking right now so I passed. May have to order one on the web which is a pain in the u know what because it means it'll be weeks before i can hope to get it. but i can use my beach suit for simple lap swimming and i bought a swim cap and goggles while in the store. now just have to ask dad if i can use his ya*ch*t cl*ub  access card so i can use their pool in the mornings.

Why do I need the Band?

Ok... so as I've mentioned before, I'm in the really, really early stages of this process. With the programme here, you get started with the nutritionist and personal trainer even before you meet with the surgeon. So I don't have a date.

That said, i've just completed the first week of the eating plan given to me by Dr Patti the nutritionist. Really simple -- 1300 calories, each meal tells me how much of each food group to eat. I've been following it pretty much to a 'T'. Yay me!

Well when I weighed in at her office last Monday morning I was 260lbs (that's 2.5 less than I was at the surgeon's office the Friday before). I did not record my weight at home that morning, but it was about the same on my scale.

Well this morning I'm 251.8. That means I've managed to lose 8.2lbs by just managing what I consume. I've done no exercise because of bum foot (but got clearance this morning to give an easy going power walk a try tonight). I'm thrilled. I can feel the difference in the clothes I'm wearing today and can see it for sure in my upper stomach which is where i tend to lose weight first.

This is fantastic and I've actually also noticed other benefits from eating properly. Haven't been so sluggish due to my adrenal fatigue. Stomach seems happy. Haven't even had to open the box of pills I picked up 2 weeks ago for acid reflux because I've not experienced it. I've been satisfied completely on the eating plan and it's working for me.

So this now brings me back to my question of why I need the Band if I can clearly follow a basic eating plan and lose weight in the process. Part of me knows the answer. My body seems to react really well and work with me WHEN I decide to give it the right foods and treat it well. But for some reason, my efforts are always rather short lived.

I've been very overweight to some degree (currently at my heaviest ever) since I was a teenager and was a chunky kid too. Twice I've gotten down to near goal weight levels - once following ww about 15 years ago and then about 5 years ago doing 6*week*body*makeover. I found that plan so rigid that the moment i eased up, I gained.

But why do I ease up? Part of me just gets tired of having to work sooooooo... bloody hard to do something that to all my friends and family seems to come so easy. I get resentful that I have to count and measure every single bite and choose my foods so carefully so that I'm getting the most bang for my buck.

But if I can do this with a nutritionist at my side forever and ever amen, do I really need the band? Would LOVE to hear from any others of you who've struggled with these issues and thoughts.

Survivor

I made it through the beach party and am quite pleased with how it went.

As I said, i called ahead to find out what was going on the grill and nothing plan friendly, so I thawed and marinated a piece of fish and took that to throw on the grill. The fish was delish. I didn't even look at the various meats that were in the buffet line. I did have a crab biter and about 1/4 cup of crab n rice. I love it and crab season (land crabs from Andros) is just once a year so it's not often I indulge. I also had an ear of fresh grilled corn minus the butter and seasoning and a bit of the salad, which was unfortunately pre-mixed with a ton of dressing.

It wasn't 100% on track, but good Lord when i think about the scarfing that would have happened just a week ago, i'm amazed. And i avoided all the liquor and sodas and had lots of water in my fancy schmancy 24oz Tervis Tumbler.

Best part is, I was satisfied and it felt so nice to go to a party and not end up feeling stuffed to the gills.

Thanks to all who encouraged me to go!

Here are a couple of pics from the place we had the party. Paradise Found!

Isn't the water just glorious?! Too bad I wasn't allowed in

There's a rock jetty separating the beach in front of my friend's place and another to the right

The sunsets from this place are amazing

Eating out and all that....

It's not been a week since I got my healthy eating plan from my nutrionist Dr Patt, so too early in the game to start patting myself on the back too much. BUT.....

I'm really proud of the way I've adopted the plan she gave me. From reading lots of blogs from those who've gone before, I realise that once I'm banded I can get away with eating some crap and not suffer, but I've decided I want to be HEALTHY and SKINNY. So I'm working on making this the way I eat. Period.

I accept that there will be times that I cave, but I want those times in my life to be the exception rather than the rule. Making them the rule is why I'm even writing this blog, isn't it?!?

I was invited by some friends to go to my fave sushi place last night. Even though white rice isn't on my plan, I figure there's such a small amount that sushi once in a while won't pack on the pounds. But after thinking things through, I decided not to go.

Here's why..... If I went by myself or with just one friend (esp one who's sensitive to what I'm trying to do here and supports my efforts), then I could order a very clean roll and call it a day. But going with a crowd (some of whom I don't know) meant ordering a bunch of things and everyone dig in.... so I'd have less control than I felt comfortable dealing with less than a week into the process, and I'd also end up spending a lot of money for a wee bit of food and water. So I bailed. Not being a hermit, just doing what feels best for me.

Today is the all afternoon, all night beach party. Well I already decided I'd go late afternoon/early evening when it's not quite as hot since I can't escape into the ocean with this bloody air cast on my foot.  But, I called my friend (the birthday boy) to find out if he's got any non- red meat to put on the grill. (my nutritionist doesn't want me eating red meat just now.) Turns out just chicken wings in a sweet marinade. So I asked if I could bring a piece of fish to throw on the grill for me. No problem.

Pleased that I took control and found out what's on tap before I got out there and found myself too tempted with things I shouldn't be eating. I really need to watch the food choices since exercise is off for a while until my foot is better.

Just had some of the cauliflower bisque (see previous post), sauteed chicken tenders and half a baked potato for lunch. When I eat good, healthy food I find myself wondering what it is that allows me to go off track and eat crap!

Went to a farmer's market this morning and got some locally produced infused olive oils - one with chilis and one with basil. Also got a tub of Ragged Island Sea Salt and a bottle of homemade all natural pepper sauce.

Hope you're all having a spectacular weekend!

Spit or Swallow

Ok, ok. Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about all these bloody pills I'm taking. Between the supplements I have for my adrenal fatigue issues, my thyroid pills, the antibiotics i'm on to help the ear nose throat doc determine whether or not i need to have my tonsils out, the supplements and enzymes that Dr Patti the nutritionist put me on and now the cataflam for my bum foot, my bedside table looks like a bloody pharmacy.

This pic is of the pills i had to take with breakfast. A number of them are 2x a day and others still are taken with each meal.

I have recently bought three different pill boxes and none of them work for me because i can't find one that has three separate sections for each day (each meal) and so can't keep track once they're out of the bottles/packets.

I HATE taking pills. But there's an irony here. One of my biggest fears about being banded is that I won't learn until it's too late and I'm gagging and pb'ing that I need to slow down and chew. I've always been one to shovel my food in and swallow. So why is it that I can swallow my food pretty much whole buy have to work myself up to swallow all these pills?

Grocery Pride

It's been a LONG time since I've been to the grocery store and come out with something like this. Doesn't my food look pretty and delish!

Felt proud as my food was making its way along the converyor belt towards checkout. Of course the cashier, and two packing boys fighting over who was next could care less, but I was proud of me. No junk food. No processed ick. No Coke Zero!

Going to make my Cauliflower Bisque tonight so long as i can stand to stand that long again.

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 cups leeks, chopped
• 1 cup celery, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 8 cups cauliflower, 2 small heads
• 6 ¾ cups chicken broth, divided
• 1 cup fat-free evaporated milk (or skim milk if you don't have evaporated)
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 
  

Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add leeks, celery, and garlic; sauté 10 min or until vegetables are tender but not brown. Add cauliflower; sauté 2 minutes. Add 6 cups chicken broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer, uncovered, 20 minutes or until vegetables are very tender. Cool slightly.
Puree vegetables in batches in a blender or food processor until smooth and creamy. Return to Dutch oven. Stir in evaporated milk, salt & pepper. Bring to a simmer, add remaining broth, cook 5 minutes or until heated through.

G Got this recipe off the WW community boards a while back and it's really nice and filling.

Coke Zero and Other things

First of all, thanks everyone for your support and friendship and advice. I'm doing much better today. Still can't put 100% pressure to walk unaided, but the doc's office thinks if I keep off it today and take the cataflam, I should be able to walk albeit with a limp by tomorrow.

Woke up this morning and cable tv and internet were down and that means no landline for me either. Thank goodness for my Kindle where I've been reading 'Weight loss surgery with the adjustable gastric band' by Robert Sewell. I believe it was Catherine who recommended it and I'm finding it a great read.

A few random things I've realised :

1) I need to get this weight off because I'm sure using crutches would be a lot easier if i weren't 250+

2) My kitchen is a lot farther away from my bedroom than I'd ever realised!

3) I'm now about only about a week into my exploration of lapband surgery and i'm amazed by how much i've learned thanks mostly to the wonderful bloggers who've opened up their lives online to help people like me come to this decision.

4) I'm on day 4 without the Elixir of the Gods - Coke Zero - and don't really miss it! In fact the only thing I've had to drink since I walked out of Dr Patti's office is water and I'm good with that. I mixed in some crystal light last night and wasn't all that impressed.

5) Even without the band, if I'm eating the right foods and being mindful as I eat I DON'T NEED AS MUCH FOOD AS I THOUGHT I DID. I'm finding my small portions are quite satisfying.

6) The local phone company is in existense to drive me absolutely crazy.

7) Crutches taste like A$$. I must keep touching my mouth after I've used them and the taste of the handles is transferred. Ick!

Ok. back to reading

Pity Party

so i've spent the better part of the day in tears. some because i was in excruciating pain, some because i was feeling damned sorry for myself.

Just as I walked into work this morning, I slipped and fell. Hands were full of bags so couldn't break my fall. My right foot was a bit tender initially, but I could walk on it with a slight limp. When I got up to heat up my lunch, I burst into tears it hurt so badly. I couldn't put an ounce of pressure on it and I've got lots of ounces of pressure to put.

No idea why, but I happened to have some extra strength tylenol in my bag so I took two of those and assured all my lovely coworkers who were super concerned that i was sitting there crying that I'd be fine.

After about half an hour of this, I called the doctor who'd treated me 2 years ago when i severely sprained my other ankle. They told me to come in for 2:30 and they'd squeeze me in. These ladies are all so lovely and supportive.

Well turns out I severely sprained the tendons along the outside of my foot. Left the office with an aircast - they tried the 'terminator boot' but I couldn't put any pressure on my foot with it on either -- and crutches. First time in my life I've had them and it's not pretty.

Managed to drive the short way home -- it's my accelorating and breaking foot -- without incident and then had to face the three flights of stairs. I grabbed only my cell phone and wallet... dbf is coming over after work to lug all my crap upstairs for me.

it took me about half an hour and lots of tears to get up those stairs. Ouch! but i made it, heated up lunch real quick so i could take the much needed cataflam, called my mom to let her know my latest medical drama (she's sending dad over with dinner later on -- did I say last post that she's THE BOMB!) and called my walking buddy to let her know that it's gonna be a while.

So clearly there was pain.... this was no joke.... but a lot of the tears shed today were just pity tears. Here I am, fully geared up and committed to starting this pre-op programme and BAM! no exercise for me for a while. Guess it just means I really have to buckle down and follow the prescribed eating plan and thank goodness that historically although exercise is good for me, hasn't really contributed to weight loss.

And I guess I was feeling sorry for myself because it's not looking likely that I'm going to be able to go to my good friend's 40th on satuday. it's a beach party that's starting at 2pm and going on until the last stragglers leave the next morning. I had planned on going for the earlier part of the day and spending as much time as possible in the ocean to avoid all the non-plan friendly foods, sodas and liquor that will be there.... now that the ocean part is not an option, i don't know that I want to tempt myself with the food and drink.

What do you guys think?

Ok... thanks for letting me rant.

Eating out

Day two of my new healthy lifestyle eating plan and I have to go out to dinner. I knew the menu was salads so figured I'd be okay and so opted not to eat before I went. Wrong! mayonnaise-infused chicken and crab salads, pasta salads, yucky bean salads. Just when i was about to panic, my mom (The BOMB!) who's a member at the club this dinner meeting was being held at said 'go into the bar, get a menu and see if there's anything you can eat'.

So i ordered grilled mahi mahi, a plain baked potato and mixed vegetables. It was delish. Figured the fat I needed was used in the grilling process. The baked potato was just fine plain. Best part is, I listened to my body and ate only the roughly 4 ounces of fish, half a potato and the cauliflower and broccoli (left the carrots because they're actually a starch). The president of the club even gave back the $ I'd paid for the salad buffet dinner when she realised I wasn't able to eat.

And double bonus - in the raffle, I won a 24-oz Tervis Tumbler. Gonna help me get even more water in.

First encounter with my Nutritionist

So someone tell me why I haven't been to see this doctor before? My first session lasted 4 - yes four - hours! She is so thorough and informative. Spent so much time listening to me to understand how I got here. And most importantly, assured me that a) she and her team will be with me throughout to ensure I am successful and b) I can do this!.

She's given me a basic eating plan for sugar and starch intolerance and said eventually she'll be cutting back on the already non-existent carbs. I'm back to see her in two weeks, but have instructions to call her with any questions or concerns in the interim. At that meeting she'll also set me up with my personal trainer, but in the meantime, I'm to continue my walking and take it from sporadic to regular and she'd also like me to start swimming to take strain off.

a funny thing -- when she measured and took my weight, I'd lost 2.5 pounds from Friday's weigh in - but I'm thinking that was just the effects of a different scale. I'd also lost half a foot in height. i'd always thought I was 5'6", but she says nope, I'm 5'5 1/2". Makes my weight and bmi numbers even worse!!!

Good news is, I told her that Sam (patient advocate) told me they'd want me to lose 10% body weight pre-op..... well Dr Symonette laughed and said "That's what.... 26lbs.... I think we can do better than that!". This led to a chat about why if I can lose weight following her eating plan, would I need the surgery. Has to do with long term success and maintenance.

Left her office ravenous and all hopes of a 'last supper' erased when she ceremoniously wrote the date on day one of the food journal she gave me. Of course after 4 hours i had to dash back to work so it wasn't until 4 when I was able to get to the foodstore salad bar that i had anything to eat! Grabbed a rotisserie chicken as well for dinner - I know that's not the ideal choice, but not much 'relatively healthy' foods to grab in a pinch around here.

I also left her office with another 4 supplements to take. I need to dash out this morning to the pharmacy to get either a bigger or another pill box. As I told Dr Symonette yesterday, I need to get healthy fast because only old folk carry these damned pill boxes around!

Woke up this morning and had two of the pills that need to be taken an hour before breakfast... then made a smoothie out of vanilla greek yogurt and frozen strawberries. I figure it is good for me to start working some liquid meals in because I'm such a texture person that I think the liquids n mushies are going to be rough!

Ok.... Time to take the seven pills I have left for the morning before lunchtime hits and i have another round to take. Ugh!

Running the numbers

262.5 42.

Friday was the first time in my life that I was happy to hear those numbers because it means I am potentially eligible for the lab band surgery. It was a bittersweet moment to hear those figures because on the other hand I'm mortified that I let things get to this!! I remember being 213 around my 30th birthday and that was mortifying. Ugh. Well I guess this is exactly why I'm exploring WLS. I clearly can't seem to get it under control on my own, and based on what i've read in the past few days, it sounds like a tool that will help me regain control and more importantly, keep it.

Funny thing. I haven't decided if I'm going to tell everyone I'm doing this (assuming I'm approved for surgery). My parents know since they're the ones (well Dad, really) who first suggested i look into it. I told my dbf - more on his reaction later. And the only friends I've told are two very dear and trusted friends who happen to be nurses. I know they'll offer invaluable insight and be good supports as i venture along. One is quite familiar with the programme that's been developed here and I actually called her on the recommendation of the other friend.... I was somewhat amused that her immediate reaction was that I can't possibly qualify for the surgery - you have to be at least 250 and have at least 40bmi... well as you can see above, I am well within the required limits. She said 'I hide it well' but I don't think I do.

To band or not to band....

This whole lapband option was not even on my radar until a few nights ago when my Dad mentioned he'd been talking about my weight (not sure how I feel about that...) with a Doctor he knows well. Turns out this doc does the lapband surgery and so Dad suggested I look into it.

The next day I'm forwarded an email that includes the name and number of the local lapband programme's patient advocate. Friday morning, after starting my obsessive compulsive online research, I gave her a call and a few hours later was in her office.

Sam is incredible. Not only is she a nurse, but she was the first lapband patient here. She's done soooo... well since her op and was a wealth of knowledge and inspiration.

I was still quite skeptical going into that first meeting, but when I learned that there's a whole programme I'd have to enroll in before being even considered for the surgery, I was sold. First meeting is Monday morning (that's tomorrow!!) with the nutritionist Dr Symonette. I have a number of sessions over the 12 week pre-op programme with her. I will also have a number of sessions (can't remember how many exactly) with a personal trainer... need someone to kick my butt! I will also have at least one session with a clinical psychologist and have a battery of tests (minust the gall bladder scan since I don't have a gall bladder).

I won't find out until about mid-way through the programme whether I'm eligible or if my insurance company will cover it, but I figure there's absolutely nothing wrong with working with a nutritionist, personal trainer and psychologist in any event.