Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Me again. This is a post i've been thinking about since i read something Pie posted on my blog yesterday I think it was.
"I too have a skinny, fit boyfriend who loves me regardless of my size and in a way it drives me nuts! If I wasn't so blissfully in love with someone who loved me back unconditionally all these years I probably wouldn't have gained so much weight! (Okay, now that's just a silly problem to have!)"
It got me to thinking. and that can be dangerous! i believe my problem is just the opposite. it's BECAUSE i'm in a committed loving relationship with a skinny blind (not really) man that i finally feel i can do this.
somewhere along the way on my weight loss and gain journey i stopped to think about why it is i could get so far and then fall completely off the wagon.
i've dated here and there, but until a few years back never really entered into a long term relationship. this is my second one. but i have always equated my desirabilty (or seemingly lack thereof) with my weight.
i figured i was always single because i was fat. and one day i had a horrible thought.... what if i get skinny and STILL no one wants me?!?! then i couldn't blame it on my weight and then what?!?!
and so, now that I have someone who desires me at any weight, i feel comfortable and confident in my journey towards skinny jeans and bikinis!
this is complete train of thought writing so i apologise if i'm not making a lot of sense.